Saturday, January 21, 2006

It's All About Context...

8:17 PM.

Apparently, one cannot say the word 'scrotum' on the cable channel AMC, at least when they're broadcasting the first Austin Powers movie. The word occurs during Dr. Evil's famous monologue describing his youth: [don't forget to do the voice too]

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

Somehow I fear that mentioning that word twice is going to put Churn in some odd web searches.

Mike G.

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