Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Trite Musings...

No witty comments today...

According to the latest news, the death count from Asia is looking to top around 76,000. Unfortunately, that total will most likely increase, given the lack of proper facilities and the huge number of fatalities.

The International Red Cross has information on it's home page for those interested.

The more I read about this disaster, the less I can actually wrap my head around it. It's almost as if my entire hometown was simply wiped off the map.

I'll get back to my ususal form soon.

Take care,

Mike G.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Decking the Halls

Reporting live from the town of my birth...

A big Seasonal Hello to all of Churn Nation. I'll be experiencing the most powerful example of good news/bad news ever[Good news-holidays w/family, Bad news-only have dial-up connection].

Just to prove that I am back home, I witnessed something that mine eyes had never seen before.

I've seen different vatiations of the limosine. Stretch, super stretch, Hummer and Escalade versions. But until today, I never even considered that someone would want, much less build a Stretch limosine pickup, complete with bed and tailgate.

Take Care Folks,

Mike G.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

On to the Ranch...

This should be the final installment of My Vegas Trip Story. I'm fully aware the only way it can end satisfactorily is with me winnning 90 million dollars on a single hand of blackjack and running off with a truckload of showgirls. Let the disappointment begin now.

Before the long trip to Carson City, Nevada we had dinner with Zamora, an old friend of the P1WAC. If you're unfamiliar with his work, click here for a taste. Zamora plies his trade in a Vegas show, and also gives tours of the Strip, highlighting the unusual and unexplained. Over dinner, he told us of suicides, murders and possible hauntings in and around famous hotels and casinos.

Friday Night, the show is done, and we all pile into the RV for the trip to The Bunny Ranch. First, we have to get the marriage license. Oddly enough, the office responsible is open all weekend long. As we wait for Richard and his intended to get the forms processed, we see that outside of the office are a few guys just standing around. It becomes evident that their job is to get couples with their new licenses to a certain chapel. One of my favorite moments of the trip was making one of those guys speechless by telling him, "Yes, we have a place for the wedding. It's the Moonlite Bunny Ranch. Oh, we also got Dan Haggerty to perform the ceremony."

And so we set off. Quick Note: the trip to Carson City from Vegas is one of the longest, most boring trips in the history of ever.

But we did get there, and for those who have never been, you're immediately greeted by tension. A daycare center sits at the beginning of the road to the Ranch. One wonders if it's services are for the clients or the workers.

The Ranch is at the end of a long road in an industrial park. There's very little on the outside to indicate what goes on inside. I suppose the best way to describe it is that it reminds one of some sort of bunker. Very nondescript, with a parking lot outside and a gate with a very impotant doorbell.

We were running a bit late, which apparently worried Mr. Dennis Hof, who invited us in for some coffee .

Dennis Hof is what I would describe as the ultimate salesman. He's always either planning, making or closing a deal, and telling stories about his celebrity friends and adventures. Now, coming from anyone else, it would sound self-serving, but he comes off as affable.

The main lobby of the ranch is about the size of a living room, with an adjacent bar. The room is completely in red, with small red velvet couches and chairs lining the mirrored walls. Neon lights cricle the room, and framed articles about the Ranch are everywhere. Next to the bar is a glass case with what I would call 'adult accessories' for sale.

Sorry, but I have to cut this installment short. Soon- HBO, an Indecent Proposal, and a Wedding.

Mike G.

Thursday, December 09, 2004

I Guess It Is All About The O...

Folks,

I suppose these links are way overdue, but since people are still coming here via a search of Ms. Sabine Ehrenfeld, I have an oligation, nay, a duty to give them what they want.

Her recent commercials can be found here, and here. Enjoy.


Take Care,

Mike G.

Sunday, December 05, 2004

More Trip News

When we left off, our motley crew had just arrived in time to start the show. While we did just complete 24 straight hours of travel, we fought through all that and became Real Live Broadcasters.

I wanted to take a moment and say thanks to the HBO representative who helped us get guests and made sure we had what we needed. She was extremely kind and treated us just like we were any other station. She was a bit confused when we told her that most of us weren't really part of the media, and we would see confused look several times over the next two days.

I'm just going to list the people we spoke to. For the most part, they were very gracious, and for our part, we did our best tonot embarrass ourselves or the station.

  • Bert Sugar: One of boxing's true characters, Bert is hard to describe. He seems to know a little bit about everything, and always has a one-liner at the ready. For the life of me, I do not understand why no one has put him in his own sitcom.
  • Danny Gans: Apparently, this man has a very successful show in one of the casinos. He's some sort of impressionist who also sings. I can't speak to the quality of the show, but during our interview he used the bands Creed and Train to show his relevance to the younger audience. He also put down Macy Gray twice for not being able to sell out a recent tour stop. We're still not sure why.
  • Jin Mosley: Sugar Shane Mosley's wife and apparent 'power behind the throne'. A very attractive young lady who was sporting a diamond ring that was reminiscent of a Kobe Bryant apology.
  • Harold Lederman: HBO Boxing Commentator and Unofficial Ringside Judge. A very animated man for his age, but his habit of slumping in his chair concerned us. while an on-air death would be dramatic radio, it probably would have closed the door on future trips.
  • Winky Wright: While we did not interview Mosley's challenger, our producer Mike Turley slipped into his alter-ego Big T to have some words with him. Big T is a white guy trying way to hard to be black, and isn't too current with the lingo. So it's not that much of a stretch for him. The highlight if the interview was Winky correcting Big T on the appropriate ways of using the word 'boy' in reference to the African-American.
  • Jim Lampley: HBO's main commentator. Jim put forward the idea during our talk that even as the sports media has expanded, the sports covered by that media is becoming more limited to the 'major' ones.
  • Joe Goosen: Sugar Shane's trainer: Known for his habit of choosing his own outfit instead of matching his fighter's entourage, we gave him a P1WAC shirt, on the off chance he wear it to the ring.
  • Larry Merchant: HBO Special analyst. While his interview was nothing special, I'm fairly certain he was wearing a Members Only jacket. When I was younger I was convinced that one had to be in some secret society to either purchase or wear one of those jackets.
  • Emanuel Steward: The third member of HBO's broadcast team and a famous trainer. Emanuel gave some great boxing history, but it was his tendency to grab the microphone and keep it that was memorable. While noone wanted to simply yank the mic away from him, it took a bit of doing to make him let go.

So that was our Thursday and Friday night recap. I'd like to tell you that we spent our time after we went off the air in the throes of Las Vegas decadence, but I can't. After the 24 hour road trip, and three hours of the show, we just couldn't go on. There was a plan that involved an old friend...

But you'll have to come back to find out what. Don't worry, I'll get to the part about the brothel soon enough.

Take Care,

Mike G.

Friday, December 03, 2004

A Cautionary Tale...

Actually, it's not really a cautionary tale, I just couldn't think of a title I liked. Sue me.

I figure it's way beyond time that I tell of my great excursion to Las Vegas and beyond. While I don't want to bore you with all the details[actually, I'm just too lazy to type them] I do want to give some highlights.

I may have said this before, but this was actually my very first bonafide road trip. So of course I wanted to experience every detail.

I slept.

I staked out my corner of the RV and basically fell into a coma about an hour or so after we took off from the station. I woke up when we stopped to refuel at a gas station in the middle of nowhere, at an hour when the only people awake are murderers and their victims. There was a mist/fog that was perfect for either a zombie invasion or a villager uprising. I bought an ice cream bar from a young man with homemade knuckle tattoos and that kept me awake for a few hours or so.

I decided to contribute to our survival by taking the passenger seat for a while and insuring that Greg, our driver, did not fall asleep at the wheel and kill all of us. Looking back, I probably shouldn't have worried since Greg would end up relying on very loud and very bad rock music to keep him awake.

I suppose it was a good thing that the drive wasn't that memorable. The most excitement we experienced was maneuvering a 45-foot RV across Hoover Dam. There was a cash offer on the table to take a leak off of the dam, but noone accepted.

We officially arrived in Vegas around 6:30 or so Dallas time. That was a matter of some concern, as we were due to begin broadcasting at 8:00 sharp.

Before I continue, let me run down the cast of characters:
  1. Big Dick Hunter: Host of the P1WAC and mastermind of the whole trip. Known for his willingness to involve the listener in all aspects of his life.
  2. Big Dick Hunter's Fiancee': Her beauty is matched only by her kindness and understanding. [Personal note: such a sweetheart]
  3. Zach the Pothead: One of the listeners [P1s] chosen to go on the trip. An enthusiast of "herbal entertainment", but also a very well read boxing fan. His knowledge [of boxing] would prove valuable.
  4. Big Greg: Our main driver, Greg amazed us all with his automotive prowess. His almost completely spherical shape was also impressive.
  5. Mardi Gras Paul: A Road Trip P1 veteran, Paul was the voice of experience and a constant source of wit.
  6. Me: The hero of this story.

There were also two other guys on the trip, but to save time, I'll sum up their role:

They drank. A lot. Then one or the other would yell something he thought was extremely clever. That may sound bitter, and I understand. Since I don't drink myself, I might not catch the subtle humor that is inherent in slurred comments and staggering.

Back to the trip.

We arrived at the Mandalay Bay hotel about 7:00. The sight of our RV pulling up to the front door is one I'll remember for a while. We checked in and dropped off our luggage in Richard's room[I'll get into our accomadations later]. With about ten minutes left before the show, Richard, Paul, Zach and myself made a dash to the Mandalay Bay broadcast center. We made it with about three minutes left to spare, much to the relief of Turley.

Turley, or Big T as we later knew him, is the producer of the P1WAC and is best known for his tenacity in wrangling guests for the show.

The broadcast center looks much like any convention space. Tables with banners indicating their station are scattered about with the occasional soft drink area. Stations from all over were broadcasting, and it hit me.

Here are actual professional radio people plying their craft, and right across from them are three guys that have frankly, no real right to be there.

The parade of guests started almost immediately, but you'll have to tune in later to find out.

Your Pal,

Mike G.