Wednesday, December 15, 2004

On to the Ranch...

This should be the final installment of My Vegas Trip Story. I'm fully aware the only way it can end satisfactorily is with me winnning 90 million dollars on a single hand of blackjack and running off with a truckload of showgirls. Let the disappointment begin now.

Before the long trip to Carson City, Nevada we had dinner with Zamora, an old friend of the P1WAC. If you're unfamiliar with his work, click here for a taste. Zamora plies his trade in a Vegas show, and also gives tours of the Strip, highlighting the unusual and unexplained. Over dinner, he told us of suicides, murders and possible hauntings in and around famous hotels and casinos.

Friday Night, the show is done, and we all pile into the RV for the trip to The Bunny Ranch. First, we have to get the marriage license. Oddly enough, the office responsible is open all weekend long. As we wait for Richard and his intended to get the forms processed, we see that outside of the office are a few guys just standing around. It becomes evident that their job is to get couples with their new licenses to a certain chapel. One of my favorite moments of the trip was making one of those guys speechless by telling him, "Yes, we have a place for the wedding. It's the Moonlite Bunny Ranch. Oh, we also got Dan Haggerty to perform the ceremony."

And so we set off. Quick Note: the trip to Carson City from Vegas is one of the longest, most boring trips in the history of ever.

But we did get there, and for those who have never been, you're immediately greeted by tension. A daycare center sits at the beginning of the road to the Ranch. One wonders if it's services are for the clients or the workers.

The Ranch is at the end of a long road in an industrial park. There's very little on the outside to indicate what goes on inside. I suppose the best way to describe it is that it reminds one of some sort of bunker. Very nondescript, with a parking lot outside and a gate with a very impotant doorbell.

We were running a bit late, which apparently worried Mr. Dennis Hof, who invited us in for some coffee .

Dennis Hof is what I would describe as the ultimate salesman. He's always either planning, making or closing a deal, and telling stories about his celebrity friends and adventures. Now, coming from anyone else, it would sound self-serving, but he comes off as affable.

The main lobby of the ranch is about the size of a living room, with an adjacent bar. The room is completely in red, with small red velvet couches and chairs lining the mirrored walls. Neon lights cricle the room, and framed articles about the Ranch are everywhere. Next to the bar is a glass case with what I would call 'adult accessories' for sale.

Sorry, but I have to cut this installment short. Soon- HBO, an Indecent Proposal, and a Wedding.

Mike G.

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