Friday, December 03, 2004

A Cautionary Tale...

Actually, it's not really a cautionary tale, I just couldn't think of a title I liked. Sue me.

I figure it's way beyond time that I tell of my great excursion to Las Vegas and beyond. While I don't want to bore you with all the details[actually, I'm just too lazy to type them] I do want to give some highlights.

I may have said this before, but this was actually my very first bonafide road trip. So of course I wanted to experience every detail.

I slept.

I staked out my corner of the RV and basically fell into a coma about an hour or so after we took off from the station. I woke up when we stopped to refuel at a gas station in the middle of nowhere, at an hour when the only people awake are murderers and their victims. There was a mist/fog that was perfect for either a zombie invasion or a villager uprising. I bought an ice cream bar from a young man with homemade knuckle tattoos and that kept me awake for a few hours or so.

I decided to contribute to our survival by taking the passenger seat for a while and insuring that Greg, our driver, did not fall asleep at the wheel and kill all of us. Looking back, I probably shouldn't have worried since Greg would end up relying on very loud and very bad rock music to keep him awake.

I suppose it was a good thing that the drive wasn't that memorable. The most excitement we experienced was maneuvering a 45-foot RV across Hoover Dam. There was a cash offer on the table to take a leak off of the dam, but noone accepted.

We officially arrived in Vegas around 6:30 or so Dallas time. That was a matter of some concern, as we were due to begin broadcasting at 8:00 sharp.

Before I continue, let me run down the cast of characters:
  1. Big Dick Hunter: Host of the P1WAC and mastermind of the whole trip. Known for his willingness to involve the listener in all aspects of his life.
  2. Big Dick Hunter's Fiancee': Her beauty is matched only by her kindness and understanding. [Personal note: such a sweetheart]
  3. Zach the Pothead: One of the listeners [P1s] chosen to go on the trip. An enthusiast of "herbal entertainment", but also a very well read boxing fan. His knowledge [of boxing] would prove valuable.
  4. Big Greg: Our main driver, Greg amazed us all with his automotive prowess. His almost completely spherical shape was also impressive.
  5. Mardi Gras Paul: A Road Trip P1 veteran, Paul was the voice of experience and a constant source of wit.
  6. Me: The hero of this story.

There were also two other guys on the trip, but to save time, I'll sum up their role:

They drank. A lot. Then one or the other would yell something he thought was extremely clever. That may sound bitter, and I understand. Since I don't drink myself, I might not catch the subtle humor that is inherent in slurred comments and staggering.

Back to the trip.

We arrived at the Mandalay Bay hotel about 7:00. The sight of our RV pulling up to the front door is one I'll remember for a while. We checked in and dropped off our luggage in Richard's room[I'll get into our accomadations later]. With about ten minutes left before the show, Richard, Paul, Zach and myself made a dash to the Mandalay Bay broadcast center. We made it with about three minutes left to spare, much to the relief of Turley.

Turley, or Big T as we later knew him, is the producer of the P1WAC and is best known for his tenacity in wrangling guests for the show.

The broadcast center looks much like any convention space. Tables with banners indicating their station are scattered about with the occasional soft drink area. Stations from all over were broadcasting, and it hit me.

Here are actual professional radio people plying their craft, and right across from them are three guys that have frankly, no real right to be there.

The parade of guests started almost immediately, but you'll have to tune in later to find out.

Your Pal,

Mike G.

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