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Minimates1

Minimates1, originally uploaded by thesporq.

Ooh, angles.

Eventful...

First off, thanks to all my friends on Twitter/Facebook for their thoughts and words. They were deeply appreciated.

And now, some thoughts and suggestions.

Please consider some sort of pre-planning when it comes to your arrangements. I don't know whether or not it will save you any money, but I know that we spent maybe an hour at most at the funeral home, and that was spent mainly making sure everyone's name was spelled right and we had the right picture for the obituary. My grandmother has been holding up great, all things considered, and not having to make these kinds of decisions really helps. Nothing against those who work in funeral parlors, but to me it's a bit distasteful when, at one of the most trying points in your life, you wind up in a used car lot. P.S do not agree to the undercoating. [bad joke, I know]

Also, Take a few minutes to tell the people you love that you actually DO love them. Yes, it's cliche`. But it doesn't make it any less true. We did get a chance to say goodbye on Monday night, and I'll always be grateful for at least that.

The funeral is this Friday, and I volunteered to be a pallbearer. So far I've done a good job of holding it together, but I don't know how long that's going to last. We're expecting a lot of people, but for me, I've already said goodbye.

We'll see you soon, Grandpa.

Important Question...

In the movie Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, Bill and Ted are murdered by evil robot duplicates sent back in time to prevent the utopia their music will bring about. In the afterlife, they challenge Death to a battle of wits. If they win, Death becomes their servant.

After winning their challenge, B and T ask Death to take them to the greatest scientist in the history of the universe in order to create good robot versions of themselves to fight their doppelgangers.

Death then takes them to Heaven, where after some well-timed Poison lyrics, they are directed to a plaza, where they meet Station, a pair of short hairy aliens. Death comments on B and T's arrogance for believing Earth would have the greatest scientist ever. Oh, Station was playing charades in Heaven. Einstein guessed it right.

Now the question:

Was Station dead? If not, why would they be in Heaven then? And if they were, does that mean that when aliens die, they go to the Judeo-Christian version of Heaven? Since humans were responsible for Original Sin, do aliens get a free pass?

I've got a lot of sugar running through my system right now.

Courage,
Mike G.

Chasing the Sunset...

I work 11-8 M-F. Not a terrible shift, all things considered.

The commute is fairly boring. 40 miles round trip, most of it highway.

The only reason I'm writing about it is that I've been able to see the sunset, or at least the last few streaks of reds and oranges on the way home.

But not tonight.

As I walked to my parking spot I saw it was officially Nighttime.

It's no big deal, but it feels like you missed something important.

Courage,

Mike G.

Coincidence...

Not including this post, there have been 616 posts to this blog.

FYI, 616 is considered the 'actual' Earth in the Marvel Multiverse.

Courage,
MIke G.

Fightin' Words

Primeval Thoughts...

So I've gotten into watching Primeval on Sci-Fi.

It's a decent show, with some decent action and FX. Of course, the fact that it's English gives it some automatic points. That, and Hanna Spearritt.

But what bugs me is that so far into Series 2 I have no idea what's going on, and I'm trying to keep myself from reading the episode summaries.

Here's what I've got so far.

Nick and his team have been locating anomalies and combating creatures from Earth's past. Helen [Nick's ex who apparently first discovered the anomalies years ago] has been at times helping the team and making their jobs harder.

After fighting a creature thought to be from the future, Nick comes back to a world that's apparently has never heard of Claudia Brown, their government liaison. She's been possibly replaced by Jenny Lewis, who looks exactly like her. Where before their team basically shared space in an office building, now they have almost unlimited resources.

But now they have problems. Somehow, Helen Brown is manipulating Oliver Leek, who has been dispatching teams early to anomalies, disabling their equipment and even hiring a woman to seduce[?] one of them for information.

My question is, to what end? Unless the next episode has a tone of denouement, I have no idea how this is going to be resolved.

And I just learned there's only a handful of episodes left. Crap.

Courage,
Mike G.

Ha!

http://bit.ly/DpGU

Still here, still blogging.

Courage,
MIke G.

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Multimedia message, originally uploaded by thesporq.

Deep Background...

After watching the Mavs finding new ways to lose basketball games today, I felt inspired to give my own personal brand of failure by writing a blog post.

I'm not sure if our local mall is indicative of others in Texas, but it has some aspects that I suspect are unique.

1. A huge granite slab displaying the Ten Commandments[flanked by Bath and Body Works on one side and Things Remembered on the other]

2. A used car lot in the parking lot [the previous tenant was a manufactured housing dealer]

3. "Live" "Music" [I place quotes around live because yes, the folks are alive and it is music, but...]

4. The local CBS Affiliate is housed in this mall. [I wish I had something quippy to add]

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not trashing 'my' mall. Far from it. Where else can I buy:

Vinyl stickers of Calvin peeing on various car company logos?
Highly realistic machine gun replicas that fire rubber BBs?
Pocket sized scales that are incredibly accurate and easily concealed?
My choice of Two [2!] Alltel stores?
Try the California Roll.

Courage,
Mike G.

Simple Request....

Can someone click on the Call Me balloon on the side of this page?

I just want to see if it works..

Thanks.

Courage,

Mike G.

Ah-ha...

I finally figured out what's been bothering me about that 'I'm a PC' ad with that little girl emailing a picture of her fish.

She starts off by saying she's going to send a picture to her family.

So whose house is she in?

Just wondering.

Courage,
Mike G.

Criminy...

Now this is getting ridiculous.

I know no one reads this, but letting this thing go for over 2 months without anything? Not good.

So I'll fill some space while I wait to get sleepy.

Burnout: Paradise is deep-fried awesome with Ranch Dressing.

That said, some notes after about a month or so of driving.

I really miss the Revenge aspects of blowing yourself up after a wreck. The loss of aftertouch is also pretty bad.

Since I'm PC, I understand waiting for all the new cars and the DLC. Heck we got a ton of stuff just for buying the game. I do hope they'll cut the pc users a break on at least some of it.

I am no good at Stunt Run events.

I was OK with the fact I will never complete all the tasks in this game. Now I'm about 20 Smashes away from 400 and I can tell it will consume my soul.

Courage,

Mike G.


PS Richard 'Big Dick' Hunter will be back on the air soon in Dallas! His site has all the details.

I don't think I'll ever be able to fully express what he and his friendship has meant to me. He's a good man and fully deserves all his success.

Learning To Quit You...

And failing, for the most part.

Just checking in to advise the world that the Mike G. experiment continues on into its 32nd year of observation.

The initial results are not positive.

We can so far conclude the subject is very adaptive, having been ripped from it's previous habitat, and while not exactly thriving, is coping.

Courage,
Mike G.

Dear Old Dad...

This is an almost verbatim transcript of a conversation I had with my Dad after helping him pack the Christmas Tree in a huge vinyl duffel bag...

ME: Seeing that bag in the living room, it looks like we just killed someone and we're not sure what to do with the body.

DAD: The Germans had the same problem.

I was just trying to be dark, my father decided to mine the holocaust for some chuckles.

Happy New Year!

Courage,
Mike G.

Really?! No...Really?!

Oh. My. Gob.

So that's how you want to end the season, Cowboys?

And you still want/need us to pay record-breaking PSLs just for the right to buy tickets to your new mega-stadium?

Well done men.

Cheers all around.

I guess I'll just wait for the eventual collapse of the Stars and Mavs, and make this a complete Dallas Sports Season. [The Rangers don't count]

Courage,
Mike G.

Wha...!?

Updating the blog to get Sportsy...

So due to San Diego's defeat of Tampa Bay, the Dallas Cowboys, who are lowly but surely cementing their status as premier choke artists in the second half of both the season and individual games, need only to beat the hated Philadelphia Eagles to advance to the post-season.

Yikes.

Best of luck to the Boys, but if I'm Jerry Jones, I would make sure that the new stadium has plenty of events lined up next year after December, cause football probably won't be one of them.

Courage,
Mike G.

p.s. please feel free to follow me on Twitter. It's the same inanity, but in bite-size chunks.

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Multimedia message, originally uploaded by thesporq.

Multimedia message

Multimedia message, originally uploaded by thesporq.

Why are these 2 items locked up together? Mg.

Look Out Below!

And the other show drops.


Courage,

Mike G.

If I'm Wrong...

Blame CuteOverload. I'll take the heat, but I'm fairly certain this the cutest G-Damned picture on the Internet.

Courage,
Mike G.

BTW, this is post #601. Never thought that would happen.

Was it The Red Polos?

Since it looks like Circuit City is soon to be no more, I thought I'd share pretty much the only CC story I have.

Years ago[02-03], Grand Theft Auto: Vice City was unleashed upon the world. In addition to building upon the now common 'sandbox' style of play, the game also featured a Hollywood-grade voice cast and actual licensed songs on the game's nine radio stations.

Which leads to our story.

Rockstar had produced several versions of the soundtrack; individual CDs for each of the seven music stations, a compilation disc featuring a 'best of' selection, and a box set with all 7 discs.

That Sunday, Kmart listed the compilation disc in their weekly ad for about 13 bucks. That's where the story ends, except for one thing.

Someone was asleep at the switch and mistakenly ran a picture of the box set instead of the single disc.

To make a boring story somewhat shorter, no other big box retailer in Dallas would honor that ad, except for a slightly confused Circuit City employee who more than once commented on what a good deal that was.

We'll miss you, company-who-had-a-dot-as-a-logo.

Courage,
Mike G.

p.s. Stupid Cowboys.
p.p.s Yay Carl Edwards!

Pastries Of The Damned!

Someone approved this., originally uploaded by thesporq.

Questions Answered...

Thanks to the folks at NBC's Chuck, who earlier this week answered a question asked in this very blog some time ago.

It's not earth-shattering, but I really like it when a show thinks enough of their viewers to fill in their own plot holes.

Courage,
Mike G.

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P.s made in China.

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Mike enjoys meats and cheeses.

Minor Interruption...

Earlier this morning, my dad was undergoing an angiogram as part of a stress test. In the process, a blockage was discovered and the decision was made to have a stent placed.

Dad's doing OK. Of course, he'd be doing better if the Cowboys weren't doing their best to give the lead back to the Eagles.

Courage,
Mike G.

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WANT!

This is GENIUS:



Thanks to the folks at Gizmodo for finding this shirt and Redbubble for making it.

May the [environmentally responsible] Force be with you.

Courage,
Mike G.

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Minor league baseball...Midland v. Frisco.

But Michael...

Thanks to the fine folks at both Jayski and E! Online for this news.

Apparently Travis Kvapil, driver of the #26 car in the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series will have his Ford Fusion decorated in a KITT-inspired paint scheme to coincide with the series relaunch on NBC. Pictures located here.

Sadly, I don't think NASCAR will allow the race team to install that swooshing red light in the on the front of the car.

Or even let William Daniels act as crew chief.


Courage,
Mike G.

Small World...

Too much Blog neglect. Will do better.

Just wanted to forward a neat piece of info about my hometown. Our Central Hockey League team, the Odessa Jackalopes [now in its 11th year] has become an affiliate of the New York islanders. [press release here.]

I love this. Not so much for the players who may go from the Jacks to the big time of the NHL[I don't think we'll have many Hometown Heroes], but for the guys who may be on the opposite track. It might be a bit jarring to go from the Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum with seating for over 16,000 to the Ector County Coliseum that seats a shade over 5,000.

But then it is Long Island.

Courage,
Mike G.

P.S. Mockingbird was a Skrull?! Crap. Now Hawkeye's gonna go all Punisher on us.

We've Met The Enemy...

And it comes 3 to a pack.

As much as I hate to say it, a weekend impulse purchase has caused me to think long and hard about Society.

Simply put, Nilla Cakesters are the reason so many people hate us as a country and a people.

It's not like there were any glaring deficiencies with regular Nilla wafers. As near as I can tell, they've been around for over a hundred years. But apparently, a simple cookie just wasn't good enough.

A crisp cookie? Can't have that. Lets pump in enough air and shelf stable fats to make it as soft as a pillow. While we're at it, let's get at least three kinds of sugar and make some filling twenty times sweeter than a Nilla wafer could ever be. Then we'll pack 'em three to a sleeve and gloss over the fact we're counting each one as an individual serving so the masses can delude themselves.

To recap, we took something that was perfectly fine and 'improved' it to the point that I defy anyone to eat one and truly feel better about yourself afterwards.

Maybe I'm being too dramatic. I just think some very smart and very cynical people knew exactly what they were doing when they came up with this stuff.

Tune in next week when I lay into the folks responsible for Flamin' Hot Funyuns.

Courage,
Mike G.

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Sitting in a starbucks. Skipped work. Mg.

Stop Selling To Me!

Hey folks,

I recently got a RAZR V9 [the AT&T version] and while I like it fine, I'm a bit annoyed by the demos and 'free' trials that clutter up my 'My Stuff' section.

If anyone out there has a way to get rid of them, I'd love to hear it.

Courage,
Mike G.

Guh?

So Iron Man is a Skrull?

Or maybe a Skrull who thinks he's Iron Man.

Unless I'm mistaken, there's been no reason for the Skrulls to keep the people they've replaced around.

So if the above statement is true:

Where is Tony Stark?

Dead?

Prisoner?

Was the Superhuman Registration Act Tony's Idea, or Skrull-Tony's? Of course, in hindsight the SRA makes commplete sense if you want the previously united heroes of Earth to be bitterly divided, each faction with only a piece of the puzzle.

Just wonderin'.

Courage,
Mike G.

Writers Needed...

The 2008 Playmate of the Year, Jayde Nicole, has the word 'respect' tattooed right above her naughty bits.

Go ahead, Google it. I'll wait.

The point is, anything else I write will not compare to what you're thinking.

This is why I need a writing staff.

Courage,
Mike G.

My Monolith...

Say howdy to the device that rules my life for eight hours a day, five days a week.

Courage,
Mike G.

Nerdity Ahead!

Quick fanboy note...

How awesome was it to see a mention of Metallikato on this week's episode of Transformers Animated?

Just wondering if anyone else noticed.

Courage,
Mike G.

Does This Work?

Klonk...

That was the sound of my jaw hitting the floor.

The past few years have been pretty good for the Geek movie-wise.

We've gotten Transformers, Batman, and Spider-Man just to name a few, and stuff like Iron Man and a hopefully Smashier Hulk on the horizon.

But thanks to Aint It Cool, I am getting ready to invest all of my fanboy capital in G.I Joe.

Ray Park.

Snake-Eyes.

Enjoy:



Courage,

Mike G.

Reaching Out...

So.

A new blog post.

What could possibly be behind it? Some life-shattering new development, or personal realization?

Nah, just a plea for cheap stuff.

But before the begging, a quick plug.

for those of you with XM Radio, [if you don't have XM, you're more than welcome to click here to sign up] there's a station called Fungus on channel 53. Their focus is on punk/hardcore/ska and every Tuesday evening they feature cover songs on the show Duped. I tell you, you have not lived till you hear a ska cover of Billy Joel's It's Still Rock and Roll To Me.

Back to the begging.

Once upon a time I could satisfy my action figure obsession quite easily. However, circumstances very much within my control have forced me to downsize-both figuratively and literally. Smaller scale collectibles are now more my style.

Of course, in a large metropolitan area, this would be no problem. But when the grand opening of a Wienerschnitzel causes traffic snarls and write-ups in the local paper, one sees the need to branch out.

But as of yet, eBay has yet to come to my rescue, and so I turn to my audience of thous-I mean hundr-I mean tens.

For those within the sound of this blog, I send out a humble request. If you live near a mall or shopping center with a Suncoast/Samgoody/FYE, please check and see if there are any Marvel Minimate sets, especially if they feature the Scarlet Spider and the Hobgoblin. I am prepared to pay for the items along with the cost of shipping and a finders fee to be negotiated. you will also receive as a bonus a completely fawning and gushing profile on this blog. You can then link to it and refer your friends to it, over time making it true!

Please leave comments below.

Courage,
Mike G.

Back In Town...

Currently back in Dallas helping out my pal Devin with some radio stunt.

Also doing my best to fend off sickness.

Enjoying life.

Courage,
Mike G.

Bored?

Here's a fun rainy-day activity:

For those born in the late 70's/early 80's, attempt to explain the premise of the Kevin Bacon star vehicle Footloose to someone 18 years or younger, and assure them it was an actual motion picture.

Have fun!

Courage,
Mike G.

They Look Like Ants From Up Here...

pic011408_1.jpg, originally uploaded by thesporq.

When you spend all day hearing excuses why people don't pay their cell phone bills, you get bored. I turn to the comfort of miniature super heroes.

Courage,
Mike G.

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

Will This Float?

So at least some writers are going back to work in the new year...

While I'm glad that Worldwide Pants and the WGA were able to work out an agreement, I'm a bit unnerved by the lack of response I've seen from CBS. Of course, what really could they say?

While they'd love to hype the only shows on Network TV returning with their full writing staff, doing so would probably lead people to ask exactly why that's so.

And on the other side of the rift, I'm wondering if some of the WGA members are a bit resentful. Also, in the long run. does this help or hurt the overall effort?

Courage,
Mike G.

A Worthy Purchase...

So today I bought a laser pointer in the shape of Darth Vader's lightsaber for about five bucks.

That senetence pretty much tells you everything you need to know about me.

Courage,
Mike G.

Double-Checking...

Just to make sure, there is a commercial out there featuring Steve Buscemi and Norm McDonald as Gingerbread people extolling the benefits of pre-paid cellular phone service, right?

I'm not just imagining it.

Cause that would be crazy.

Insane.

Ludicrous, even.

Courage,
Mike G.

Listen Up...

Please notice the new column to the right of this post...

Thanks to the folks at Pandora, I can now share the type of music I like with my reader[s].

Thanks to what they're calling the Music Genome Project, this music player will take songs and bands you like and analyze their characteristics and give you other songs and bands that you might also like. Mainly, it's an excuse to take groups that have no business being together and seeing what will happen. For Example,
try my newest station, The Metallic Spice Collective.

The other reason I'm doing this post is that it's way too freaking cold to go outside and I've watched too much TV today anyway.

Courage,
Mike G.

Remain Calm...

Here is the TV post I Twittered about yesterday:

First off, My Close Personal Friend Jane Espenson would like to recommend a site to all of those who are looking for a way to support the WGA's recent strike. Please click here for details.

In the interest of full disclosure, I am not a close personal friend of Jane Espenson, but we once ate some killer Tex-Mex together, so that should count for something.

And now, what no one has been waiting for:

I am a big fan of the new NBC show Chuck. To be perfectly honest, I was a big fan of the first draft of this show, when it was on UPN and called Jake 2.0. Bitterness aside, I do really like it.

But because my personality is such that I tend to obsess over the things that I like [Pixar's Cars toys, Comic Books, Kristen Bell] I've gotten to a point in the ongoing story way before the writers meant for me to.

[If by any chance the next episode fully explains this, I would only be mildly surprised]

So Chuck has a copy of the Intersect, which contains nearly all the intelligence gathered by the United States, burned into his brain. The original was destroyed by his best friend/nemesis Bryce Larkin for unknown reasons. So now Chuck has wacky, action-packed spy adventures with some bittersweet romantic tension.

Now we as the audience know that a new Intersect is being built, and this has some very dire consequences for our hero Chuck.

What bothers me is that Chuck should also be worried, given his unique background.

Let me explain:

Say that a pre-Intersect Chuck is happily surfing away on his computer. But something goes Wrong. Very wrong. Long story short- his hard drive got fried. But Chuck is a prepared Nerd Herder and always backs up his files. All is well.

But not really. What if the backup copy couldn't be changed? What if there was no way to save new information? Essentially, what if Chuck's computer were frozen in time? Sure, you could use it for a short while, but what good is a computer that can't be upgraded or even run different software?

The Intersect was the ultimate information database when Chuck accidentally burned it into his brain. But every day after that, it's becoming more and more obsolete. Chuck works in an industry that is designed around planned obsolescence. He has to be aware of the fact that as time goes on, the information in his head will be less and less valuable, and so will the aforementioned head.

Finally, wouldn't Chuck at least assume that the government would build another Intersect? And what happens when it's done?

Yeahh...sometimes I think a bit too much.

Courage,
Mike G.

Bored On A Sunday...

So I've been mostly Twitter-ing instead of posting to the blog proper.

A quick recap of the past few months...

Still in Odessa.

Doing some call center work. It's actually better than it sounds. Union work, full medical dental and vision coverage, and it's all inbound.

Still keeping a torch lit for Dallas and the people and places I had to leave behind.

And as always, remaining vigilant should I spontaneously manifest meta human powers such as hyper speed, invulnerability, or psychokinesis.

Courage,
Mike G.

He's Not Just Magical...

Apparently, Albus Dumbledore was FABULOUS! as well.

Thanks to Boing Boing for the link.

I wonder how the Right will react to this. Remember, they were already ticked off when it was just about magic.

And You Thought...

That having a CG Jabba wadlling around onscreen was bad enough...

From the fine folks that bring you PvP:




Courage,
Mike G.

This Is What Happens...

When you face off against an incredibly sensitive Code Of Conduct policy at your workplace.

The following is what I DID NOT say to a woman who seems to have a great deal of animosity towards me:

I am sorry, but I think you may have confused me with someone else you hate. I am not Satan, nor am I the person in charge of women's dress sizes. I am also not the person who makes the puzzles on Wheel of Fortune so darn tricky. I hope that clears things up between the two of us.

Instead, I merely said 'Good Morning' and tried not to stare as she rolled her eyes so far around they threatened to tear away from her optic nerve.


Courage,
MIke G.

Temporary Suspension...

of my Guy Card for this post, but I'll make up for it in the end.

So I needed some sheets for my bed; sure, my Classic Transformers set was still good, but I thought it was time to move on.

Normally, I'd go to my closest retail juggernaut and buy whatever what was on sale and fairly non-flammable, but with a new job and a tiny bit of disposable income, I thought it would be wise to put a bit of thought in the decision. After all, next to your workplace and your car, you're spending a big chunk of your life in bed.

So it's off to the retail jungle.

I have to admit I am conflicted about these Bed, Bath, Linens N' Beyond Things places. On the one hand, they are TV Gadget Cavalcades. If there's an infomercial about it, odds are it's here. Unfortunately, all of it is surrounded by an almost impenetrable wall of pillows that aren't meant to be rested on, towels you can't use, and things called shams and valences.

But back to the story.

After an initial case of sticker shock [so much for the 1000 thread count], I decided to go for something different.

There's this fabric called modal that's made from beechwood. [Insert Budweiser joke here]. Like all things, Wikipedia has more info on the subject.

All I can tell you is that these sheets are amazing. Super soft and extremely comfortable. Mike approves.

And now, as a special thank you for enduring that post, I give you:

ASS KICKING!



And for those not so fond of the kicking of ass:

JUVENILE WORDPLAY!



Courage,
Mike G.

Hey Kids! Radio!

Sorry for the lack of updating...

I've come back to one of my first loves [in a small way].

My 'sibling from a maternal unit other than my own' Devin has invited me to take part in his somewhat biweekly podcast.

So jump over to his site and join in.

Courage,
Mike G.

Who Knew...

That involving yourself in an illegal dogfighting ring would lead to legal discomfort?

I hate to bring up pop culture at this point, but I suspect a great deal of this was a result of 'keeping it real'.

Without delving into socio-political arguments, I have to believe that Vick felt that this 'sport' was giving him some sort of cred. Cred from people too far below any kind of relevance, sure, but cred nonetheless.

And I thought I had a bad year.

Courage,
Mike G.

Self-Test...

This is a "good to know" kind of post.

Watch this clip:



It's good to know that a 50 foot drop onto plywood doesn't always mean instant death.

Courage,
Mike G.

[thanks to With Leather for the original link.]

Doors Opening...

So, if you've seen my Twitter post, I'll be rejoining the ranks of the employed next week.

It's not my dream job, but it's OK for right now.

More updates later.

Courage,
Mike G.

Brief Comments...

Sorry about that, but I'm not creative enough right now for a better title[once you see what the post is about, you'll know why].

Am I the only one who finds themselves humming the 'Apple of my Eye' song from the Fruit of The Loom commercial?

And if you're unaware, click on this, and be prepared to get a little misty. I love the complete lack of irony and the total seriousness of the video.

I try not to be moved by advertising, but stuff like this and the Sonic commercials really work on me.

Heck, if I had a job, I might be tempted to purchase some of their products.

Courage,
Mike G.

With Apologies...

To Johnny Paycheck...

In about 12 hours, I'll be informing my superiors that the retail automotive industry will have to learn to get along without me.

I did not make this decision lightly; thinking about makes me a bit queasy. Of course, thinking about not doing it makes me want to vomit.

I'm not sure what I'll do next. I'd like to spend about a week savoring the fact I no longer have to answer this question:

So, what's your bottom line price on this?

But I don't have that luxury. I have a few leads, but if anyone out there has any high-paying positions that require little experience and even less actual talent, please drop me a line.

Oh, before I forget, I had my laser surgery on my other eye Friday. So far, everything looks ok. I'll go back in two weeks to make sure my interocular pressure's where it needs to be. And for those of you who might be curious as to what an argon laser might look like:



So to recap: things are changing.

I'll try and keep you updated. Here, over on my Myspace, and my new corner of the 'Net, The Amigos. Heck, I'm even on Twitter.

Things are about to get interesting.

Courage,
Mike G.

Shiny...

Wow.

Now that was a shindig.

CAN'T STOP THE SERENITY 2007 wrapped up in the wee hours of the morning, and the early returns indicate that this years total will demolish the mark set in 2006.

Massive thanks to everyone involved, from the special guests to the folks who lended a hand just because.

Pictures and video will be along shortly.

I'll also do a special link-filled post very soon.

Dev, Tara, Manda, April, Cedric, Jane, and too many more to list:

Thanks for everything. Thanks for making a difference. Thanks for making me a tiny part of something huge.

Thanks for doing the impossible.

Courage,
Mike G.

Inside Joke Alert!

"Now hooold on just a minute!!!!

Television?"

Touch Down...

I'm in Dallas, and at a computer in the lobby of my hotel.

How's that for an update?

I managed to get a little time off and thought, what better way to spend it than to be an unpaid volunteer for a charity movie showing?

In less than 24 hours, my good friend Devin will be hosting one of over 40 nationwide showings of the movie Serenity. All proceeds will benefit Equality Now, an organization dedicated to equal rights for women. You can learn more here.

So for me, it's a few hours sleep, and then back to work.

Courage,
Mike G.

P.S. Watch the Twitter box on the side of this page for updates throughout the day.

A Lack of Vision...

It was just supposed to be your average visit.

I'd been through the drill before:

"Which looks clearer, #1 or #2?"

"Better, or worse?"

My main concern was that my prescription would be so strong I'd be able to see a few minutes into the future.

But I didn't expect what happened next.

The doctor told me not to worry...the puff test concerned him a bit, so he was scheduling another test.

A few days later, I took the second test. The results...weren't comforting.

I got sent to a specialist. After some more futzing around with my eyes, the verdict was in.

Glaucoma.

[You can lean more about Glaucoma here and here.]


To my credit, I didn't immediately fall to my knees and curse my Creator; nor did I revert to the fetal position and go catatonic. My doctor, who had no doubt done this many times before, laid out my options.

I could go with eyedrops, which I would have to take for the rest of my days.

Or, I could undergo Selective Laser Trabeculectomy. The major advantage to the laser treatment is the fact the effects could last for up to five years.

In less than 48 hours, I'll be going in for the SLT.

I'm honestly not sure why I'm writing about this. It's not for the attention[I think]. I could have easily sent out an email to my friends. I guess I don't want anyone else going through that shock. If I hadn't gone in for new glasses, I wouldn't have ever found out, and since Glaucoma has no symptoms, by the time a person's vsion is truly affected, it might be too late. And it's not just the elderly who have it either. Bottom line: Get Tested.

Unfortunately, I have lost some peripheral vision, but the SLT will help me keep the vision I have. It's a good thing, too.

There's a bunch of stuff I haven't seen yet.

Courage,
Mike G.

Tinfoil Hat Alert...

So, earlier this evening I was enjoying some Nacho-y goodness[special thanks to the fine folks at Penzeys Spices and their excellent Bold Taco Seasoning]

As I reached for some more tortilla chips, I noticed something written on the bag: a statement declaring that these chips would go perfect with their brand of salsa[Tostitos].

At first, I just chalked it up to the crass commercialism/synergy/vertical integration we get blasted with on a daily basis.

But then[and this may have been a mistake], I started thinking.

Tostitos' parent company is Frito-Lay, makers of everything from Cheetos to Rold Gold pretzels. They've created flavors and color combinations that don't exist in nature.

Which brought me to my hypothetical question:

What if the reason Tostitos Salsa went perfect with Tostitos chips was because it was designed that way?

Look, there's all kinds of additives out there. Stuff to keep food fresher, stuff to keep cereal from getting soggy, stuff to keep seasonings from clumping together. Is it really that far a stretch to think that the idea hasn't crossed somebody's mind? I figure Chemical A gets sprayed on or mixed in the chips, and is set to react with Chemical B in the salsa. When they meet, maybe they add an extra hit of spice, or make the salsa a bit thicker.

I know this sounds insane, but I can't help but think this is the sort of thing marketers dream about.

You know, before blogging, I'd usually tell all of this stuff to my imaginary pirate friend.

Courage,
Mike G.

Locaton, Location, Location?

Sadly, Mr. Jenkins never understood why he never got any offers on his parcel of land:



Actually, I saw this outside our local mall the other day. Apparently there was some sort of Bounce House arms race that I was not aware of. Off to the side of this lizard was an even bigger giant lying on his back. Kids entered a gaping hole in his head . Cheery.

Also in the mix was the always appropriate Titanic-themed slide and one with some sort of tornado with a face.

Courage,
Mike G.

Free Food!

Sort of.

Even though I'm not there to join in, I wanted to send a quick reminder to my friends out in the DFW area.

The folks at Chipotle will be giving free burritos, tacos, or salads on June 5th when you bring a non-perishable food item for the North Texas and Tarrant County Food Banks.

And if you're not in Dallas, donate some stuff to your local food bank anyway. Karmically speaking, it's just a good idea.

Courage,
Mike G.

Film Thoughts...

First off...

Click here, if you please.

Then, skip to about the 1:31 mark.

I don't know if it's some carrot being tossed to the fans just for the trailer, but I approve.

Second, finally got to see Spider-Man 3 today.

I didn't not like it.

I just don't know. There wasn't anything completely bad about the film, but there was this sense that Raimi was trying to pack two movies into one.

And now, Some Questions:

I love Anchorman as much as the next guy, but a re-enactment of the whole 'jazz flute' scene seemed out of place.

I suppose he did it out of some sense of loyalty for the actors and the desire to bring back familiar elements, but why oh why did Raimi bring back the skinny blonde? All she does is provide Peter with baked goods and stumble around. I won't lie, she's pretty cute, but why is she there?

So you're the mentally askew son of a deranged super-villain. You want to fulfill your dead father's dreams of revenge, and have been given the means to do so. Your weapons and gear are finally ready. All that is left is to select a fearsome visage.

You pick a paintball mask.

Okay, fine. An Electric Sliding paintball mask.

Finally, I've read where the budget for this movie was astronomical. I can only guess how much money they had to pay for what must have been the World's Largest Shoehorn for Stan Lee's cameo.

Courage,
Mike G.

Recieving The Signal...

So I just got XM Radio today.

I know, XM has a bit of stodginess about it, but 9 months of free service and a 10 buck radio kind of made it an easy decision.

I do like the addition of XM Radio Online, since I'm at my PC a lot more often than in my car. Of course, getting into the world of satellite radio may be an ill-timed move, especially given the fact I correctly predicted the XM/Sirius merger.

Call me flighty.

In other news, way belated congrats to my close personal friend Dev, who has chosen a bride [for the 2nd or 3rd time, depending on who you ask] and will be wed later this month. Unfortunately, I don't believe I will be able to join them, as my personal path has taken me...somewhere else.

I do want to take this opportunity to publicly ask the bride and groom something...

The Vidalia chop Wizard?

REALLY?

REALLY.

Not to poke fun, but I have to know...are you two waiting for your 10th anniversary to bust out the Esteban Guitar or dare I say it-The Bedazzler?

Of course, I kid. Mainly because I love.

Courage,
Mike G.

Sweet Jebus Above...

Recently, I've been neglecting my blogging duties. Frankly, my current circumstances warrant that only the most extraordinary occurrences would get me to start typing.

Thanks to my pals at Toy News Intl, that occurrence has happened.

Optimash Prime.



May Xenu have mercy upon us all.

Courage,
Mike G.

Closure...

So that one guy who said he was the father of that lady's baby turned out to be telling the truth, and that other guy who said he was isn't.

Good thing we got that straight.

Courage,
Mike G.

More Stuff...

So I picked up Twitter, in the hopes that I'll be able to blog via my phone and update this thing more than once a month.

Let's see what happens.

Courage,
MIke G.

Ladies and Gentlemen...

I Give You...

Optimus. Prime.

Courage,
Mike G.


p.s. Megatron? I'm still sorting out my feelings on his look so far.

Not To Worry...

I'm still here.

A bit busy, but still here.

More entertainment soon.

Courage,
Mike G.

"24? More Like 1/24."

Please forgive the joke.

Before the next installment of the Gold Medal Flour Jack Bauer Hour of Power Hour, I'd like to note the recent announcement made at this years Toy Fair:



You can click here for more pics, and here for the press release.

A tip of the Churn hat to the folks at Toy News International.

Courage,
Mike G.

Only Four Months Off...

If only I could guess football games this well...

From January of last year...

From earlier this morning...

Of course, this isn't a done deal, and of course there's that whole monopoly thing to deal with.

It's nice to be right about something. For once.

Courage,
Mike G.

Desire...

Hey there gang.

Not much to post today, but a little something I found online.

Way way back in January of 2002, the WWF/E produced a video that summed up exactly why anyone is a professional wrestling fan. For a company that edits, ignores and even willfully forgets its own history, it was a powerful look back. A lot has changed in the last five years, but it still has much of the same impact as when it first aired.

Enjoy:



Courage,
Mike G.

Getting Sidetracked...

Wow.

First off, a huge thank you to everyone involved in making my trip to Dallas so memorable. Seeing old friends and getting back into the ol' announcer's booth was a real treat, and hopefully I'll be able to make it back very soon.

As for Devin's last post, I promise to have an adequate response very soon. Until then, since Churn is the place where Internet Memes go to die, I'd like to quote an article written a few years ago by Kieth Martin:

If we accept all the Star Wars films as the same canon, then a lot that happens in the original films has to be reinterpreted in the light of the prequels. As we now know, the rebel Alliance was founded by Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Bail Organa. What can readily be deduced is that their first recruit, who soon became their top field agent, was R2-D2.

What then follows is an inspired piece of writing that makes a little too much sense. You can read the rest of it here, if you haven't already.

Courage,
Mike G.

Jambox In Disguise

It was really great catching up with Mike G. when he came back to Dallas last weekend. After getting him his celebratory Jamba Juice, we tooled around a rainy city talking about ... well, damn near everything.

Over the course of the weekend, i busted out my iPod and played the Patton Oswalt bits from the "Last Laugh 2006" Comedy Central special, and he showed me some wrestling videos on his Creative Zen player. It was the first time I had screwed around with a Creative player, and I have one big problem with it: the interface. The buttons aren't uniform in how they... work. This button works to get you here, but its counterpart doesn't work to get you in the opposite direction. VERY non-intuitive.

However, I think I have the answer to get Mike to finally give up all of the imitators once and for all:

Meet the Convoy iPod Docking Bay.

It's a transforming iPod Dock that converts from tune-blasting robot into an 18-wheeler. The dock is licensed by Apple, and is available for pre-order now for $144.99 from BigBadToyStore.com.

Now, I know what Mike's thinking: the REAL reason he doesn't have an iPod is they're so damned expensive. Big deal. When will you ever see a Transformer dock for the Creative players? Or, bog help 'em, the Zune? That's right, you won't.

The Art Of The Gag Reel

When Katie Sackhoff or Dean Stockwell screws up a line and swears, that's cool. Your brain can process that.

But when Edward James Olmos does it... well, something short circuits for me.



This may or may not get you ready for Sunday's return of 'Galactica,' but it certainly pulls back the curtain.

Is This A Pun?

Thanks, T-Shirt Hell!

Courage,
Mike G.

Throwing Meat To The Wolves...

So, remember Devin's post a short while ago about a particular robot girl exposing her... operating system for all to enjoy?

Well hold on to your...actually, I don't want to finish that sentence.

If you're 18 or older, or know someone who is:



Here Ya Go.

May the Kittens forgive me,

Courage,
Mike G.

I Guess So...

Yeah,
I guess it did really happen.

'Not with a bang, but a whimper.'

Oh well.

Courage,
Mike G.

No.

My. God.

That didn't just happen, did it?

Mike G.

I'm So Pretentious, I'll Use TWO Initials In My Name

As a rule, geeks are grumpy.

Sure, they follow their particular favorite movie / TV show / comic book with slavish devotion, but their future experiences with said favorite thing are colored by the "newness" of the first time.

Examples:

* 'Star Wars'
* 'Star Trek'
* 'Alien'

James Cameron avoided the dreaded and feared geek backlash by making a completely different movie in 'Aliens' than Ridley Scott did in 'Alien.' (Of course, I can imagine the reaction in pre-production if the movie were released in the time of the Web: "Cameron's just a low-budget hack. 'The Terminator' was cheesy, and he'd be better off sticking to that low-grade horror genre, rather than screwing up the greatness of Scott's claustrophobic vision!") Every film since then has been either poorly written (Alien3), or poorly directed (Alien: Resurrection), or both (Alien vs Predator). At least you could point to the pedigree of the two direct sequels -- David Fincher, Jean Jeunet, Joss Whedon. With 'AvP,' you has Paul W.S. Anderson. [shudder]

And here's the real kick in the crotch: 'AvP' KILLED at the box office, bringing in $171 million worldwide. So, being the money-grubbing whores Fox is, they're denying us a real return to the 'Alien' realm we've been craving, and instead, giving us more pap with 'AvP2.'



Two things give me hope about this flick:

It's not written by Paul W.S. Anderson.
It's not directed by Paul W.S. Anderson.

Early Returns...

So, let's take a quick review of Devin's contributions so far to the Churn Nation:

1. Geek News? Check.

2. News about young women disrobing? Check.

Combining the two?

Well done my friend.

Well done.

Courage,
Mike G.

Such As: Kittens Everywhere Cringe In Terror!

Word around the campfire is that Tricia Helfer, known to all the citizens of Geek Nation as Number Six from SciFi's Battlestar Galactica, will have a photo shoot in next month's Playboy.

Anything I could type next would come off as a horrible double entendre, so I'll leave that up to you.

Konnichiwa!

First, a quick 'hello' to the Churn! faithful. Mike G. gave me a key to the place, wanted me to water the plants, and make sure no one's broken in and set up a meth lab or anything of the sort.

Next, pretty much every time I talk to Mike, he tells me how excited he is about the Transformers movie. I know this will likely get me tossed out of his blog as fast as I got invited, but I simply missed the boat on the Transformers.

Thundercats? Check.
Star Blazers? Ding.
Thundarr the Barbarian? Bingo.

But Transformers? Nope. Does nothing for me.

I don't know why -- you would think the robots in disguise would have been right in my wheelhouse. But, for whatever reason, Optimus Prime holds no special place in my heart.

Maybe this new Japanese trailer will help:



Okay, that helps... although Shia LeBeouf gently reaching to cop a feel wasn't necessary. Maybe the
Japanese audiences need the love touch.

Resolved...

That I attempt to blog a bit more often.

That I make it back to Dallas for a visit before everyone there forgets about me.

That I sell a vehicle to someone familiar with the concept of responsible credit.

That I call another Derby Devil bout before I forget how.

That I at least look into the concept of not being single.

That I reclaim my rightful place as WWE Fantasy Champion. Note: this may come into conflict with the previous resolution.

That I finally make some progress on my autobiographical rock opera.

Courage,
Mike G.

Watch. This.

Now.

Transformers Trailer.

Cautiously optimistic.

Courage,
Mike G.

I Endure...

While the wild world of auto retailing has left my schedule fairly packed, I wanted to take a moment to share some the inspirational 'tools' that have been handed to us by the Powers That Be:


And here's some more:



I can't speak to their motovational power [at least without displaying a lack of finesse and an abundance of sarcasm] but I know two things:

1. Those posters cost someone a pretty penny.

2. We probably could have gotten these with very few people noticing the difference.

Courage [and Happy Thanksgiving],

Mike G.

"I Immediately Regret This Decision!"

A quick word of advice:

At 8:30 PM, a Steakfinger basket from your local Dairy Queen is better as a theoretical concept than as a meal.

Thanks for your time,

Courage,
Mike G.

Object Of Desire...

This. Shirt. Is. Genius.

Courage,
Mike G.

Eerily fitting...

Thanks, Despair!

Courage,
Mike G.

Oh Yeahhh...

I did say I was going to update this thing more often, didn't I?

A quick word of advice, and a declaration or two.

Actually no, I don't know how much your Altima is worth. What I do know is that you'll be unhappy with just about any amount I come back with. I also know that if you could get what you think it's worth on your own, you would already have done it.

WWE Fantasy is only a week away, and The Churn Army has been chomping at the bit to put this past season behind them and begin the road to the Title.

So, Screech has a sex tape, huh? I thought as soon as I started to do something it became passe' and lame. Guess he beat me to it.

I'm looking for an MP3/Video device that's not from Redmond, WA. Any pointers?

That's enough ramblings for now. To close, here's one of my favorite videos of all time. Enjoy.

Courage,
Mike G.

Cheapness for Cheapness' Sake...

While TV grazing, I saw something that made me think.

During a broadcast of the Professional Bullrider's Tour, a profile was aired about one of the bulls. Accompanying the piece was Metallica's "Enter Sandman".

This same piece of music used to serve as the entrance theme for The Sandman, a professional wrestler best known for smashing his opponents with a bamboo cane and his own face with a beer can. He was one of the primary faces of ECW, a wrestling federation with mature storylines and sometimes shocking violence.

When the WWE purchased ECW, The Sandman's theme was replaced with generic guitar riffs, presumably to avoid royalties.

Just thinking out loud.

Courage,
Mike G.

First Sale

First Sale
Originally uploaded by thesporq.

Another bit of housekeeping, this was taken about a month ago with my trusty camera phone, mostly to prove to myself that I indeed did sell a car.

Courage,
Mike G.

Don't Call It A Comeback...

After much struggle, things are starting to return to normal here at Churn HQ.

Translated: I finally got DSL.


What this means for you, Dear reader, is that you'll once again be delighted/bored by my writing on a more regular basis.

So some house cleaning:

Season 8 of WWE Fantasy is fast approaching, and the Churn Army will be starting the long, hard road back to the title belt.

Many congrats to the Dallas Derby Devils, who recently completed their first ever season. I was fortunate enough to be a small part of this family, and their hard work has really paid off with the DDD Travel Team winning the first ever Governor's Cup Tournament. The Travel Team added another feather in their helmets by holding the nationally known Austin Rollergirls to a 1 point victory in an exhibition match.

My Close Personal Friend, Richard Hunter, made his return to the airwaves this past July. As I've said before, Richard's played a part in some of the most interesting things I've ever been involved with. The best part about his new gig is the fact that he's made his shows available to download at his website.

More, when events dictate.

Courage,
Mike G.