Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Repercussions And Concussions...

So I just got back from the weigh-in/face-off. Soon you'll be able to see pics from the event at Richard's site.

You know how you have a favorite spot that you come back to time and time again? I've got one of those too.

It's called Well Enough Alone, and I can't seem to leave it, no matter how hard I try.

My opponent, the lovely Razen kane arrived with a group of her fellow Derby Devils. I had my good pal Bro. Mike by my side to serve as backup.

It didn't go well at first.

As near as I can tell, the Derby Devils were under the impression that their opponent was going to be some sort of misogynist he-man, and presented themselves accordingly. They were dead serious about kicking some ass.

Then they met me, pretty much the opposite of those things.

Like any good self-deprecating passive aggressive, I took their needling with a smile. I openly confessed my total lack of fight experience, and predicted my defeat. Near the end of the show, I felt that I hadn't made the best case for myself, even though my chances for success are slim.

So I decided to take a page from my book of wrestling knowledge, and play the role of The Cowardly Heel. This occurs when the bad guy, or heel waits for his opponent to leave or be distracted. He then strikes, either verbally or physically. If he's discovered or confronted with his crimes, he denies any involvement and tries to escape any comeuppance.

So with a few minutes left in the show, I decided to let fly some caustic comments, including one in which I stated my doubts that Miss Kane might have more than the standard number of chromosomes. I also questioned whether Roller Derby was a legitimate sport.

This would have gone according to plan, except for the fact that the Derby Devils had not actually left the building.

You can hear the aftermath by subscribing to the P1WAC-Cast. I don't really get going till about the 18th minute.

The fight will be tomorrow night. Please tune in. Like I said, I'll probably lose and lose big. I do hope that the Devils will see beyond my pettiness, and that we can all be friends.

After I get my ass kicked.

Also, my statement about creating my own Roller Derby League with a pair of skates and some plywood was incredibly inaccurate. I should have referred to it as a flat track. I would need some bricks to make a banked track. I regret the error.

Mike G.

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