After much searching, I've found the full version of that insane Burger King commercial. Churn is not liable for any brain damage suffered while viewing.
Hootie found work!
Also, while I don't see her acheiving Sabine Ehrenfeld-like levels of fame, I'm becoming a fan of the young roller-skating lady in the diet Coke commercial. Thankfully, Coca-Cola has seen fit to post the video here.
Enjoy the veal,