"24? More Like 1/24."

Please forgive the joke.

Before the next installment of the Gold Medal Flour Jack Bauer Hour of Power Hour, I'd like to note the recent announcement made at this years Toy Fair:



You can click here for more pics, and here for the press release.

A tip of the Churn hat to the folks at Toy News International.

Courage,
Mike G.

Only Four Months Off...

If only I could guess football games this well...

From January of last year...

From earlier this morning...

Of course, this isn't a done deal, and of course there's that whole monopoly thing to deal with.

It's nice to be right about something. For once.

Courage,
Mike G.

Desire...

Hey there gang.

Not much to post today, but a little something I found online.

Way way back in January of 2002, the WWF/E produced a video that summed up exactly why anyone is a professional wrestling fan. For a company that edits, ignores and even willfully forgets its own history, it was a powerful look back. A lot has changed in the last five years, but it still has much of the same impact as when it first aired.

Enjoy:



Courage,
Mike G.

Getting Sidetracked...

Wow.

First off, a huge thank you to everyone involved in making my trip to Dallas so memorable. Seeing old friends and getting back into the ol' announcer's booth was a real treat, and hopefully I'll be able to make it back very soon.

As for Devin's last post, I promise to have an adequate response very soon. Until then, since Churn is the place where Internet Memes go to die, I'd like to quote an article written a few years ago by Kieth Martin:

If we accept all the Star Wars films as the same canon, then a lot that happens in the original films has to be reinterpreted in the light of the prequels. As we now know, the rebel Alliance was founded by Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Bail Organa. What can readily be deduced is that their first recruit, who soon became their top field agent, was R2-D2.

What then follows is an inspired piece of writing that makes a little too much sense. You can read the rest of it here, if you haven't already.

Courage,
Mike G.

Jambox In Disguise

It was really great catching up with Mike G. when he came back to Dallas last weekend. After getting him his celebratory Jamba Juice, we tooled around a rainy city talking about ... well, damn near everything.

Over the course of the weekend, i busted out my iPod and played the Patton Oswalt bits from the "Last Laugh 2006" Comedy Central special, and he showed me some wrestling videos on his Creative Zen player. It was the first time I had screwed around with a Creative player, and I have one big problem with it: the interface. The buttons aren't uniform in how they... work. This button works to get you here, but its counterpart doesn't work to get you in the opposite direction. VERY non-intuitive.

However, I think I have the answer to get Mike to finally give up all of the imitators once and for all:

Meet the Convoy iPod Docking Bay.

It's a transforming iPod Dock that converts from tune-blasting robot into an 18-wheeler. The dock is licensed by Apple, and is available for pre-order now for $144.99 from BigBadToyStore.com.

Now, I know what Mike's thinking: the REAL reason he doesn't have an iPod is they're so damned expensive. Big deal. When will you ever see a Transformer dock for the Creative players? Or, bog help 'em, the Zune? That's right, you won't.

The Art Of The Gag Reel

When Katie Sackhoff or Dean Stockwell screws up a line and swears, that's cool. Your brain can process that.

But when Edward James Olmos does it... well, something short circuits for me.



This may or may not get you ready for Sunday's return of 'Galactica,' but it certainly pulls back the curtain.

Is This A Pun?

Thanks, T-Shirt Hell!

Courage,
Mike G.

Throwing Meat To The Wolves...

So, remember Devin's post a short while ago about a particular robot girl exposing her... operating system for all to enjoy?

Well hold on to your...actually, I don't want to finish that sentence.

If you're 18 or older, or know someone who is:



Here Ya Go.

May the Kittens forgive me,

Courage,
Mike G.

I Guess So...

Yeah,
I guess it did really happen.

'Not with a bang, but a whimper.'

Oh well.

Courage,
Mike G.

No.

My. God.

That didn't just happen, did it?

Mike G.

I'm So Pretentious, I'll Use TWO Initials In My Name

As a rule, geeks are grumpy.

Sure, they follow their particular favorite movie / TV show / comic book with slavish devotion, but their future experiences with said favorite thing are colored by the "newness" of the first time.

Examples:

* 'Star Wars'
* 'Star Trek'
* 'Alien'

James Cameron avoided the dreaded and feared geek backlash by making a completely different movie in 'Aliens' than Ridley Scott did in 'Alien.' (Of course, I can imagine the reaction in pre-production if the movie were released in the time of the Web: "Cameron's just a low-budget hack. 'The Terminator' was cheesy, and he'd be better off sticking to that low-grade horror genre, rather than screwing up the greatness of Scott's claustrophobic vision!") Every film since then has been either poorly written (Alien3), or poorly directed (Alien: Resurrection), or both (Alien vs Predator). At least you could point to the pedigree of the two direct sequels -- David Fincher, Jean Jeunet, Joss Whedon. With 'AvP,' you has Paul W.S. Anderson. [shudder]

And here's the real kick in the crotch: 'AvP' KILLED at the box office, bringing in $171 million worldwide. So, being the money-grubbing whores Fox is, they're denying us a real return to the 'Alien' realm we've been craving, and instead, giving us more pap with 'AvP2.'



Two things give me hope about this flick:

It's not written by Paul W.S. Anderson.
It's not directed by Paul W.S. Anderson.

Early Returns...

So, let's take a quick review of Devin's contributions so far to the Churn Nation:

1. Geek News? Check.

2. News about young women disrobing? Check.

Combining the two?

Well done my friend.

Well done.

Courage,
Mike G.

Such As: Kittens Everywhere Cringe In Terror!

Word around the campfire is that Tricia Helfer, known to all the citizens of Geek Nation as Number Six from SciFi's Battlestar Galactica, will have a photo shoot in next month's Playboy.

Anything I could type next would come off as a horrible double entendre, so I'll leave that up to you.

Konnichiwa!

First, a quick 'hello' to the Churn! faithful. Mike G. gave me a key to the place, wanted me to water the plants, and make sure no one's broken in and set up a meth lab or anything of the sort.

Next, pretty much every time I talk to Mike, he tells me how excited he is about the Transformers movie. I know this will likely get me tossed out of his blog as fast as I got invited, but I simply missed the boat on the Transformers.

Thundercats? Check.
Star Blazers? Ding.
Thundarr the Barbarian? Bingo.

But Transformers? Nope. Does nothing for me.

I don't know why -- you would think the robots in disguise would have been right in my wheelhouse. But, for whatever reason, Optimus Prime holds no special place in my heart.

Maybe this new Japanese trailer will help:



Okay, that helps... although Shia LeBeouf gently reaching to cop a feel wasn't necessary. Maybe the
Japanese audiences need the love touch.

Resolved...

That I attempt to blog a bit more often.

That I make it back to Dallas for a visit before everyone there forgets about me.

That I sell a vehicle to someone familiar with the concept of responsible credit.

That I call another Derby Devil bout before I forget how.

That I at least look into the concept of not being single.

That I reclaim my rightful place as WWE Fantasy Champion. Note: this may come into conflict with the previous resolution.

That I finally make some progress on my autobiographical rock opera.

Courage,
Mike G.

Watch. This.

Now.

Transformers Trailer.

Cautiously optimistic.

Courage,
Mike G.

I Endure...

While the wild world of auto retailing has left my schedule fairly packed, I wanted to take a moment to share some the inspirational 'tools' that have been handed to us by the Powers That Be:


And here's some more:



I can't speak to their motovational power [at least without displaying a lack of finesse and an abundance of sarcasm] but I know two things:

1. Those posters cost someone a pretty penny.

2. We probably could have gotten these with very few people noticing the difference.

Courage [and Happy Thanksgiving],

Mike G.

"I Immediately Regret This Decision!"

A quick word of advice:

At 8:30 PM, a Steakfinger basket from your local Dairy Queen is better as a theoretical concept than as a meal.

Thanks for your time,

Courage,
Mike G.

Object Of Desire...

This. Shirt. Is. Genius.

Courage,
Mike G.

Eerily fitting...

Thanks, Despair!

Courage,
Mike G.