I would have written this earlier, but I started playing Chuzzle, and got distracted. It's no Bookworm, but it's pretty fun.
So when I last left you, preparations were well under way. The rink was being lined with light cords to mark the boundaries, chairs had been set up, and the girls were preparing for battle.
As the crowd started to file in, it started to dawn on me that people were actually going to see[and hear] me speak. I've been on the radio before, but it's easier when you don't have to see the people you're talking to.
As the band After Earth finished up the set, the lights were lowered and Meatpie [the aforementioned pirate]and I headed to the middle of the rink to do the introductions.
Meatpie did the honors for the High Seas Hotties and was very well received. As their theme music died down, I turned on my microphone and...
presenting the suicide shifters!
Then the sound of crickets filled the air.
As I was contemplating hanging myself from the giant spinning disco ball, Meatpie handed me the other mic. I took a deep breath, and to my great shock, it worked. I made my way through the Shifters' roster and even got a bit of applause.
And then the bout began. Meatpie and I began to fall into a sort of rhythm; he would give more of a play-by-play account explaining the rules and penalties to the crowd, and I would offer scoring updates and chime in on specific plays.
After Halftime, I began to feel a bit more confident, and would offer up more commentary. I even upheld the long-standing tradition of secretly inserting TicketShtick into everyday life by invoking some Robot Greggo.
As the bout drew to a close I felt that all in all, I had done my best. That's not to say I won't try harder next time though.
I just can't thank the Derby Devils enough for letting me be a small part of their crew. Of course, my ultimate plan involves the girls acting as a sexy squad of lethal commandos loyal only to me.
Just a thought.
Courage,
Mike G.
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