Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Devin and Mike: The Introduction...

You- Drummed out of the Navy, taking residence in the nearest bottle. Apparently 'misplacing' a submarine falls under dereliction of duty nowadays. Not that sleeping with the wife of a superior officer didn't help to grease the rails any.

Me- On my third identity in as many years. On the run from several prominent families in the 'import/export business'. As it turned out, there's a limit to how creative they like their accounting. You can't fault their fairness though: Double what was 'misplaced' or find out firsthand the current state of concrete technology.

Place- Somewhere in the Keys on a collection of balsa-wood scraps, chewing gum and tinfoil masquerading as a pleasure boat for unsuspecting tourists.

It's a special occasion, noted by the fact you're only two sheets to the wind. The score we've been waiting for. The one that'll make me square with The Families and net you enough cash to start over.

Seems some Trump starter kit caught the Robert Evans bug and wants to get into the movie business, complete with a doe-eyed B-Movie starlet. (To be fair, she looked more like a D or small C, but I digress.)

Problem is, it's hard to roll out the casting couch when the wife is always nearby, especially in a Community Property state.

So when the Waring Hudsucker lookalike suggests that an 'accident' befall the little woman, well...we're not exactly enthusiastic, but the number of zeroes he offers does a good job of easing our minds.

So we get started. A few coats of paint and a generous amount of Febreze hide the most obvious flaws. To sell the story that the cruise is legit, we reel in some other suckers. Some corn-fed ditz fresh off the truck and a teaching aide from the local community college decide to come along. Oh yeah, Miss B-Movie is along for the ride. "To avoid suspicion", the old man says. I don't know, I'm not in the habit of plotting a murder.

The plan is simple, so he says. We set out, and after a hour and a half, we feign engine trouble [no problem]. While everyone looks below deck to offer their expert opinion, the old man pretends to be seasick and heads for the stern, wife in tow.

Shove-Shove, Splash-Splash, Ka-Ching Ka-Ching.

We never count on the engine actually breaking down, or the freak tropical storm that nearly drowns all of us, or the postage stamp sized clod of dirt and coconut trees that is our current address.

I'd laugh if it wasn't so formulaic.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Who's up for some NerdRage?

Or at least some NerdFrustration.

So I decided to try out a few episodes of Primeval: New World. I was a big fan of the original series and was curious if Niall Matter could handle a series lead after his supporting role on Eureka.

I don't know if I can load up episode 2, much less the rest of the series.

I'm gonna kind of delve into the weeds of the show, so be warned.

Go to Cute Overload and coo at some puppies if you get bored.

If we're to accept that these two shows share the same world, I am absolutely stunned that Connor wants to simply shut down any dealings with anomalies. First off, it appears that they're no longer limited to England. [Of course, that could simply be for budgetary reasons]

Was he that shaken by Prospero and New Dawn that any danger posed by the anomalies is simply an acceptable loss? People are getting chomped up left and right, but as long as no one's making a fool of Connor Temple, too bad so sad.

And that final scene, where we see that Evan has the body of an ARC soldier on ice and [until Connor took it away] what looked like a portable anomaly detector. He found them after stumbling on to an anomaly and losing his wife/girlfriend to a dinosaur attack.

That just doesn't make any sense.

Are there more than one ARC? Or is it from the future? Does that mean when an anomaly is open, it's accessible from all points in time, but only in one direction?

I'd appreciate any feedback on this. I could simply be too harsh a judge.

Mike G.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Magic? Thanks, but No...

Quick TV post while I'm supposed to be doing something else.

Ok, I like ABC's Once Upon a Time. And yes, it is difficult at times to type this post while keeping my parasol and bonnet on straight.

With that out of the way, here's my question:

In the season finale, Rumpelstiltskin is able to bring back Magic to Storybrook, while at the same time the Evil Queen's curse is being broken.

For some of the residents of Storybrook, wouldn't they be better off if the curse wasn't lifted? Off the top of my head, I'd think Red/Ruby would much rather not know that's she's a werewolf who is one enchanted cloak and overprotective Granny away from eviscerating the whole town.

And Jiminy Cricket/Archie? Does he go back to being a bug, which was actually penance for his actions in the fairy tale world?

I'm willing to bet that in the 2nd season, there'll be some folks wanting to get plugged back into The Matrix, as it were.

Mike G.

Saturday, September 08, 2012

Quick Confession...

My Intro to Political Research professor has an unsettling resemblance to Carl Karl from Phineas and Ferb.

Thanks for your time.

Mike G.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Ruling Needed...

I am in need of the masses who don't read this blog.

Quick Background, or as quick as I can make it...

I'm needing a new backpack, as my current one is starting to go. As it was a 1-year anniversary gift from a years ago former employer, it's held up longer than I ever thought it would. All things being equal, I'd just as well replace it with the same model, but there's no sign/tag on the pack anywhere, so I have no idea who made it.

And rather than venture outside and risk exposure to...other people[ew], why not use my way-overpriced Internet connection and get it online? Also, why not indulge my inner Scrooge and get it cheap off of eBay? [our motto: Counterfeit? The Hell You Say!]

So 2 days ago I find an Oakley pack[don't judge] that looks decent. The seller has a Buy It Now price of $55 or Best Offer, along with free shipping. I make offers of 40, 41, and 42 bucks, all of which are rejected. Fine, no skin off my nose. Was it too low of an offer? Maybe. But since the auction ended with no sale, maybe not.

Earlier tonight I'm looking though some of my watched auctions, and I see the seller's re-listed the pack.

This time around, the auction is a straight Buy It Now, take it or leave it price of $40. The shipping is now $12 instead of free. Exact same pack.

Because I saw the previous listing, I have some questions.

Is this a dick move? Does the seller think he's pulling a fast one on somebody? Since no one bought the pack at $55 with 'free shipping', does he think someone's gonna leap on it now for $40 + $12 shipping? [3 dollar difference]

Sure, I understand. The whole beauty of eBay, buyers and sellers, the market decides, blah blah ECON1301-cakes.

Maybe I'll just use a stick and handkerchief and make a hobo bindle instead.

Mike G.

Monday, December 12, 2011

In Which I Devote Way Too Much Time To ABC...

Woof. Not proud of myself, but here goes.

 I like Once Upon A Time. I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, but for my money, it's a nice piece of Sunday night fluff to wind down your week.

 Also, Meghan Ory as Ruby/Red Riding Hood. Hot-Cha.

 But, because my brain loves to devote itself to non-important things instead of my finances, physical/mental health and automotive maintenance[NOTE TO SELF: Oil change?] The last episode got my wheels turning.

*This will serve as a spoiler warning*

 I'm giggling as I type this since it assumes that people actually read this. Up until this most recent episode the Big Curse/Plot Point was fairly simple. The Evil Queen took the whole fairly tale world and plopped them into present-day Maine, with no memory of who they are, living faint shadows of their true selves. A dish best served cold, as it were. The residents of Storybrooke live their lives just going through the motions, knowing something is missing, but never sure of exactly what that is. But until last Sunday, I was under the impression that everyone including the Queen was affected by the Curse. While Regina has been the central 'villain' of the show so far, there's been no direct sign that behavior came from anywhere other than that of a scheming politician and overbearing mother. My reasoning is the concept introduced early in the series about the idea that magic comes with a cost. This idea is hammered into the viewer by Rumpelstiltskin. By the way, I could write a complete essay on Robert Carlyle. For ABC's sake I hope they have some sort of insurance policy on their sets, given the amount of chewing they must be suffering from. Anyway, my point is that along with killing her father, the cost of the Curse would be that the Queen would have her revenge, but exist like everyone else. That doesn't seem to be the case now. With killing Graham, it seems that Regina has known all along that she is the Evil Queen. But that doesn't make sense in the world of the show. Why allow Emma in town at all? Her 'Heart Room' is proof she still has access to her magic. Some other questions: Why did the Queen adopt a son in the first place? I'm guessing that Mr. Gold arranged that adoption much like he did Cinderella/Ashley's. But did he choose the son of Snow White's daughter on purpose, knowing he would eventually seek out his mother? Was this Rumple's hedge against the Curse? And what happens when the town remembers? Will they go back to their world, or will their world come to us, like Asgard in Broxton, Oklahoma?

 This is what happens when I don't get enough sleep.

 Courage, Mike G.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Oh well, humanity had a good run.

Oh well, humanity had a good run.