Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Let Your Nerd Anger Consume You...

Just another in a long line of indignities...

So it looks like Episode III might not suck.

That may be a shock, but what isn't a surprise is the marketing juggernaut closing in on us.

Target, Wal-Mart, and Toys R Us are all joining in to offer exclusive items and some are even opening at midnight.

So, living in the vast metropolis known as Dallas, it would be a given that I'd be able to indulge my inner Geek, right?

Many Bothans died to bring us this infornmation...

Of course, I'll still hand over my cash to Lucas, because ultimately, I am Vader's bitch.

You can see a full list of all the merch plans here.

Take Care,

Mike G.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

More See The Light...

Now there's another who has fallen under the spell of Sabine Ehrenfeld.

Junior Miller, of the Dunham and Miller radio show [1310AM The Ticket] has inducted her into the world famous "The Girl On TV Who's So Good Looking That We Have To Watch Out For Her Because She's So Good Looking". You can see official proof here.

Just glad to be spreading the word,

Mike G.

Sunday, March 27, 2005

An Open Letter...

To the redhead who sat next to me on the flight to Dallas...

You didn't notice, but I was constantly checking you out. Besides, why wear a thong if you don't want someone to see it?


Mike G.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Requiem for a Moustache...

Old Friend, We must now part. Rest assured, like the Phoenix of legend, you will arise greater than ever before. Posted by Hello

Saturday, March 19, 2005

We're #1!!!!

The perfect story to read before going to bed.

I wouldn't be surprised if I got mugged right as I'm blogging something. Of course, I'd ask the hoodlum to wait till after I hit the 'publish' button first.


Mike G.


Thanks to the fine folks at OnHD.TV, they've given you some reasonsto maybe hold off on that big purchase of an HDTV.

Your pal,

Mike G.

Friday, March 18, 2005


After much searching, I've found the full version of that insane Burger King commercial. Churn is not liable for any brain damage suffered while viewing.

Hootie found work!

Also, while I don't see her acheiving Sabine Ehrenfeld-like levels of fame, I'm becoming a fan of the young roller-skating lady in the diet Coke commercial. Thankfully, Coca-Cola has seen fit to post the video here.

Enjoy the veal,

Mike G.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Free, Free, Free!

Courtesy of the fine folks at cheap Stingy B@stard...

You can see live streaming NCAA Tournament video for free here. The games you can see are dependent on location and blackout issues, but it's still neat.


Mike G.

Quick Update: Looks like that was some sort of trial offer. Sorry.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005


[In sultry French accent] "Hello, I'm Michelle Theuriau. When I'm not reading the news for millions of lonely Frenchmen, I'm reading the genius that is Churn. Mike G. brings a fresh irreverence to the blog world that makes me tingly all over."

I figure if I'm not getting the acclaim that I rightly deserve, I might as well make it up.

Just be glad I don't know how to use Photoshop.

Your pal,

Mike G
Posted by Hello

As usual...

In keeping with the way these things usually work out, one of the sites I mentioned in my last post has gone the way of and online grocery delivery.

Of course, I'm still welcoming anyone to join the other sites if you've got some free time to spare.

Hey, it doesn't hurt to ask.


Your pal,

Mike G.

Monday, March 14, 2005


Greetings to all those visiting Churn via the magic of TrafficSwarm. Of course, it would be really neat if after getting your click credit, you'd stick around a while, but I know how the game is played.

Secondly, I'm sure most of you have been harassed by your friends and family to sign up for various stuff-for-free sites. While I would like that as well, I'll just give you some help if you're interested.

When you do sign up for one of these sites, you're given a list of anywhere from 10-15 seperate offers. This site lists a majority of them and rates them with user comments.

You can also join a Conga Line, like the ones shown here.

Finally, because I can't stop whoring myself out....

Free Ipod Shuffle


Free 20GB Ipod


Free 20GB Iriver H320

Take Care,

Mike G.

Saturday, March 12, 2005


This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Google, and Ye Shall Receive...

This is for the Google Searcher who was looking for an actual churn a few days ago. I doubt they'll come back, but just in case... Also, I'll be updating Churn Nation on another of our favorites soon.

Your pal,

Mike G. Posted by Hello

Sweet Memories....

And now, a post guaranteed to make sense to only a fraction of my audience...

I wonder whatever happened to the DX band. I mean, after they played Wrestlemania 14, where does a wrestling faction's official musical accompaniment go? I mean, when your biggest hit is a thirty second entrance theme, I'm not sure where else you can be appreciated. Sure, you can play the ocasional sports bar, but if HHH and Road Dogg aren't right behind, you're stuck with some angry fans.

Take Care,

Mike G.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Game Over...

I have the physical endurance of a wet tissue.

In order to maintain my Geek Cred, I try and stay current on the video gaming scene. This is slightly odd, since the last game system I owned was the Sega Genesis.

But when I go to the movies or to an 'all-in-one' centers like Dave and Busters or Gameworks, I'll drop a few bucks in the arcade.

Some of my favorites are the light gun games, such as Virtua Cop, Time Crisis, or House of the Dead. I'm no expert, but I can ususally hold my own.

Enter Police 24/7.

It's your standard one-cop-versus-the-criminal-underworld game, but with a twist. Sensors along the top and sides of the machine track your position, which translate your movements onscreen. You can shoot from behind cover and duck incoming fire.

The other day, I played this game for less than three minutes.

My legs are still sore.

Now I have no illusions about my physical prowess, but I would have never imagined that an arcade game would kick my ass.

Oh, the humanity.

Mike G.

Monday, March 07, 2005

Helpful Hint...

Hi there.

Let me apologize once again to all thse who wind their way here hoping to find some nudity. I can make this assumption based on the number of visits this site gets that last less than 30 seconds. I suppose when you're looking for naked pics of Candice Michelle, you don't have time for anything else.

But I'm not bothered. In fact, I'm offering what might be a solution. With the advent of RSS and other methods of distribution, we're getting closer to the unfufilled promise of 'push' where information relevant to you would get pushed to your desktop.

I'm using a piece of software called Pluck. You can either use it as a standalone program, or integrate it with your browser. Basically, it tracks just about any site with an RSS feed and lets you know when they're updated. It can also keep track of your own personal searches. I'm finding it very useful, and hopefully some of you might too.

Finally on a completely unrelated note, we here at Churn Central are celebrating what will likely be our best showing in WWE Fantasy. Thanks to Orlando Jordan's surprising victory over John Cena, Team Churn was launched into 251st place.

Hoping that Martha Stewart hasn't become institutionalized[like Brooks in Shawshank],

Mike G.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005


Some random thoughts for you and yours...

Who decided that getting Darius Rucker, Brooke Burke, Vida Guerra, and the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders together in a psychadelic western themed wonderland would be the perfect way to get people to eat chicken sandwiches?

Secondly, I've gotten along just fine so far without having to even think about something called "The O.C. "

But, thanks to certified nutbag George Lucas,
I have to devote precious space just so I can be depressed about how bad the movie's going to be.

The tragic life of the nerd.

Take Care Folks,

Mike G.