Sunday, December 30, 2007

Will This Float?

So at least some writers are going back to work in the new year...

While I'm glad that Worldwide Pants and the WGA were able to work out an agreement, I'm a bit unnerved by the lack of response I've seen from CBS. Of course, what really could they say?

While they'd love to hype the only shows on Network TV returning with their full writing staff, doing so would probably lead people to ask exactly why that's so.

And on the other side of the rift, I'm wondering if some of the WGA members are a bit resentful. Also, in the long run. does this help or hurt the overall effort?

Mike G.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

A Worthy Purchase...

So today I bought a laser pointer in the shape of Darth Vader's lightsaber for about five bucks.

That senetence pretty much tells you everything you need to know about me.

Mike G.

Saturday, December 15, 2007


Just to make sure, there is a commercial out there featuring Steve Buscemi and Norm McDonald as Gingerbread people extolling the benefits of pre-paid cellular phone service, right?

I'm not just imagining it.

Cause that would be crazy.


Ludicrous, even.

Mike G.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Listen Up...

Please notice the new column to the right of this post...

Thanks to the folks at Pandora, I can now share the type of music I like with my reader[s].

Thanks to what they're calling the Music Genome Project, this music player will take songs and bands you like and analyze their characteristics and give you other songs and bands that you might also like. Mainly, it's an excuse to take groups that have no business being together and seeing what will happen. For Example,
try my newest station, The Metallic Spice Collective.

The other reason I'm doing this post is that it's way too freaking cold to go outside and I've watched too much TV today anyway.

Mike G.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Remain Calm...

Here is the TV post I Twittered about yesterday:

First off, My Close Personal Friend Jane Espenson would like to recommend a site to all of those who are looking for a way to support the WGA's recent strike. Please click here for details.

In the interest of full disclosure, I am not a close personal friend of Jane Espenson, but we once ate some killer Tex-Mex together, so that should count for something.

And now, what no one has been waiting for:

I am a big fan of the new NBC show Chuck. To be perfectly honest, I was a big fan of the first draft of this show, when it was on UPN and called Jake 2.0. Bitterness aside, I do really like it.

But because my personality is such that I tend to obsess over the things that I like [Pixar's Cars toys, Comic Books, Kristen Bell] I've gotten to a point in the ongoing story way before the writers meant for me to.

[If by any chance the next episode fully explains this, I would only be mildly surprised]

So Chuck has a copy of the Intersect, which contains nearly all the intelligence gathered by the United States, burned into his brain. The original was destroyed by his best friend/nemesis Bryce Larkin for unknown reasons. So now Chuck has wacky, action-packed spy adventures with some bittersweet romantic tension.

Now we as the audience know that a new Intersect is being built, and this has some very dire consequences for our hero Chuck.

What bothers me is that Chuck should also be worried, given his unique background.

Let me explain:

Say that a pre-Intersect Chuck is happily surfing away on his computer. But something goes Wrong. Very wrong. Long story short- his hard drive got fried. But Chuck is a prepared Nerd Herder and always backs up his files. All is well.

But not really. What if the backup copy couldn't be changed? What if there was no way to save new information? Essentially, what if Chuck's computer were frozen in time? Sure, you could use it for a short while, but what good is a computer that can't be upgraded or even run different software?

The Intersect was the ultimate information database when Chuck accidentally burned it into his brain. But every day after that, it's becoming more and more obsolete. Chuck works in an industry that is designed around planned obsolescence. He has to be aware of the fact that as time goes on, the information in his head will be less and less valuable, and so will the aforementioned head.

Finally, wouldn't Chuck at least assume that the government would build another Intersect? And what happens when it's done?

Yeahh...sometimes I think a bit too much.

Mike G.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Bored On A Sunday...

So I've been mostly Twitter-ing instead of posting to the blog proper.

A quick recap of the past few months...

Still in Odessa.

Doing some call center work. It's actually better than it sounds. Union work, full medical dental and vision coverage, and it's all inbound.

Still keeping a torch lit for Dallas and the people and places I had to leave behind.

And as always, remaining vigilant should I spontaneously manifest meta human powers such as hyper speed, invulnerability, or psychokinesis.

Mike G.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

He's Not Just Magical...

Apparently, Albus Dumbledore was FABULOUS! as well.

Thanks to Boing Boing for the link.

I wonder how the Right will react to this. Remember, they were already ticked off when it was just about magic.

Monday, October 08, 2007

And You Thought...

That having a CG Jabba wadlling around onscreen was bad enough...

From the fine folks that bring you PvP:

Mike G.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

This Is What Happens...

When you face off against an incredibly sensitive Code Of Conduct policy at your workplace.

The following is what I DID NOT say to a woman who seems to have a great deal of animosity towards me:

I am sorry, but I think you may have confused me with someone else you hate. I am not Satan, nor am I the person in charge of women's dress sizes. I am also not the person who makes the puzzles on Wheel of Fortune so darn tricky. I hope that clears things up between the two of us.

Instead, I merely said 'Good Morning' and tried not to stare as she rolled her eyes so far around they threatened to tear away from her optic nerve.

MIke G.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Temporary Suspension...

of my Guy Card for this post, but I'll make up for it in the end.

So I needed some sheets for my bed; sure, my Classic Transformers set was still good, but I thought it was time to move on.

Normally, I'd go to my closest retail juggernaut and buy whatever what was on sale and fairly non-flammable, but with a new job and a tiny bit of disposable income, I thought it would be wise to put a bit of thought in the decision. After all, next to your workplace and your car, you're spending a big chunk of your life in bed.

So it's off to the retail jungle.

I have to admit I am conflicted about these Bed, Bath, Linens N' Beyond Things places. On the one hand, they are TV Gadget Cavalcades. If there's an infomercial about it, odds are it's here. Unfortunately, all of it is surrounded by an almost impenetrable wall of pillows that aren't meant to be rested on, towels you can't use, and things called shams and valences.

But back to the story.

After an initial case of sticker shock [so much for the 1000 thread count], I decided to go for something different.

There's this fabric called modal that's made from beechwood. [Insert Budweiser joke here]. Like all things, Wikipedia has more info on the subject.

All I can tell you is that these sheets are amazing. Super soft and extremely comfortable. Mike approves.

And now, as a special thank you for enduring that post, I give you:


And for those not so fond of the kicking of ass:


Mike G.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Hey Kids! Radio!

Sorry for the lack of updating...

I've come back to one of my first loves [in a small way].

My 'sibling from a maternal unit other than my own' Devin has invited me to take part in his somewhat biweekly podcast.

So jump over to his site and join in.

Mike G.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Who Knew...

That involving yourself in an illegal dogfighting ring would lead to legal discomfort?

I hate to bring up pop culture at this point, but I suspect a great deal of this was a result of 'keeping it real'.

Without delving into socio-political arguments, I have to believe that Vick felt that this 'sport' was giving him some sort of cred. Cred from people too far below any kind of relevance, sure, but cred nonetheless.

And I thought I had a bad year.

Mike G.

Friday, August 03, 2007


This is a "good to know" kind of post.

Watch this clip:

It's good to know that a 50 foot drop onto plywood doesn't always mean instant death.

Mike G.

[thanks to With Leather for the original link.]

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Doors Opening...

So, if you've seen my Twitter post, I'll be rejoining the ranks of the employed next week.

It's not my dream job, but it's OK for right now.

More updates later.

Mike G.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Brief Comments...

Sorry about that, but I'm not creative enough right now for a better title[once you see what the post is about, you'll know why].

Am I the only one who finds themselves humming the 'Apple of my Eye' song from the Fruit of The Loom commercial?

And if you're unaware, click on this, and be prepared to get a little misty. I love the complete lack of irony and the total seriousness of the video.

I try not to be moved by advertising, but stuff like this and the Sonic commercials really work on me.

Heck, if I had a job, I might be tempted to purchase some of their products.

Mike G.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

With Apologies...

To Johnny Paycheck...

In about 12 hours, I'll be informing my superiors that the retail automotive industry will have to learn to get along without me.

I did not make this decision lightly; thinking about makes me a bit queasy. Of course, thinking about not doing it makes me want to vomit.

I'm not sure what I'll do next. I'd like to spend about a week savoring the fact I no longer have to answer this question:
So, what's your bottom line price on this?

But I don't have that luxury. I have a few leads, but if anyone out there has any high-paying positions that require little experience and even less actual talent, please drop me a line.

Oh, before I forget, I had my laser surgery on my other eye Friday. So far, everything looks ok. I'll go back in two weeks to make sure my interocular pressure's where it needs to be. And for those of you who might be curious as to what an argon laser might look like:

So to recap: things are changing.

I'll try and keep you updated. Here, over on my Myspace, and my new corner of the 'Net, The Amigos. Heck, I'm even on Twitter.

Things are about to get interesting.

Mike G.

Sunday, June 24, 2007



Now that was a shindig.

CAN'T STOP THE SERENITY 2007 wrapped up in the wee hours of the morning, and the early returns indicate that this years total will demolish the mark set in 2006.

Massive thanks to everyone involved, from the special guests to the folks who lended a hand just because.

Pictures and video will be along shortly.

I'll also do a special link-filled post very soon.

Dev, Tara, Manda, April, Cedric, Jane, and too many more to list:

Thanks for everything. Thanks for making a difference. Thanks for making me a tiny part of something huge.

Thanks for doing the impossible.

Mike G.

Inside Joke Alert!

"Now hooold on just a minute!!!!


Saturday, June 23, 2007

Touch Down...

I'm in Dallas, and at a computer in the lobby of my hotel.

How's that for an update?

I managed to get a little time off and thought, what better way to spend it than to be an unpaid volunteer for a charity movie showing?

In less than 24 hours, my good friend Devin will be hosting one of over 40 nationwide showings of the movie Serenity. All proceeds will benefit Equality Now, an organization dedicated to equal rights for women. You can learn more here.

So for me, it's a few hours sleep, and then back to work.

Mike G.

P.S. Watch the Twitter box on the side of this page for updates throughout the day.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

A Lack of Vision...

It was just supposed to be your average visit.

I'd been through the drill before:

"Which looks clearer, #1 or #2?"

"Better, or worse?"

My main concern was that my prescription would be so strong I'd be able to see a few minutes into the future.

But I didn't expect what happened next.

The doctor told me not to worry...the puff test concerned him a bit, so he was scheduling another test.

A few days later, I took the second test. The results...weren't comforting.

I got sent to a specialist. After some more futzing around with my eyes, the verdict was in.


[You can lean more about Glaucoma here and here.]

To my credit, I didn't immediately fall to my knees and curse my Creator; nor did I revert to the fetal position and go catatonic. My doctor, who had no doubt done this many times before, laid out my options.

I could go with eyedrops, which I would have to take for the rest of my days.

Or, I could undergo Selective Laser Trabeculectomy. The major advantage to the laser treatment is the fact the effects could last for up to five years.

In less than 48 hours, I'll be going in for the SLT.

I'm honestly not sure why I'm writing about this. It's not for the attention[I think]. I could have easily sent out an email to my friends. I guess I don't want anyone else going through that shock. If I hadn't gone in for new glasses, I wouldn't have ever found out, and since Glaucoma has no symptoms, by the time a person's vsion is truly affected, it might be too late. And it's not just the elderly who have it either. Bottom line: Get Tested.

Unfortunately, I have lost some peripheral vision, but the SLT will help me keep the vision I have. It's a good thing, too.

There's a bunch of stuff I haven't seen yet.

Mike G.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Tinfoil Hat Alert...

So, earlier this evening I was enjoying some Nacho-y goodness[special thanks to the fine folks at Penzeys Spices and their excellent Bold Taco Seasoning]

As I reached for some more tortilla chips, I noticed something written on the bag: a statement declaring that these chips would go perfect with their brand of salsa[Tostitos].

At first, I just chalked it up to the crass commercialism/synergy/vertical integration we get blasted with on a daily basis.

But then[and this may have been a mistake], I started thinking.

Tostitos' parent company is Frito-Lay, makers of everything from Cheetos to Rold Gold pretzels. They've created flavors and color combinations that don't exist in nature.

Which brought me to my hypothetical question:

What if the reason Tostitos Salsa went perfect with Tostitos chips was because it was designed that way?

Look, there's all kinds of additives out there. Stuff to keep food fresher, stuff to keep cereal from getting soggy, stuff to keep seasonings from clumping together. Is it really that far a stretch to think that the idea hasn't crossed somebody's mind? I figure Chemical A gets sprayed on or mixed in the chips, and is set to react with Chemical B in the salsa. When they meet, maybe they add an extra hit of spice, or make the salsa a bit thicker.

I know this sounds insane, but I can't help but think this is the sort of thing marketers dream about.

You know, before blogging, I'd usually tell all of this stuff to my imaginary pirate friend.

Mike G.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Locaton, Location, Location?

Sadly, Mr. Jenkins never understood why he never got any offers on his parcel of land:

Actually, I saw this outside our local mall the other day. Apparently there was some sort of Bounce House arms race that I was not aware of. Off to the side of this lizard was an even bigger giant lying on his back. Kids entered a gaping hole in his head . Cheery.

Also in the mix was the always appropriate Titanic-themed slide and one with some sort of tornado with a face.

Mike G.

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Free Food!

Sort of.

Even though I'm not there to join in, I wanted to send a quick reminder to my friends out in the DFW area.

The folks at Chipotle will be giving free burritos, tacos, or salads on June 5th when you bring a non-perishable food item for the North Texas and Tarrant County Food Banks.

And if you're not in Dallas, donate some stuff to your local food bank anyway. Karmically speaking, it's just a good idea.

Mike G.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Film Thoughts...

First off...

Click here, if you please.

Then, skip to about the 1:31 mark.

I don't know if it's some carrot being tossed to the fans just for the trailer, but I approve.

Second, finally got to see Spider-Man 3 today.

I didn't not like it.

I just don't know. There wasn't anything completely bad about the film, but there was this sense that Raimi was trying to pack two movies into one.

And now, Some Questions:

I love Anchorman as much as the next guy, but a re-enactment of the whole 'jazz flute' scene seemed out of place.

I suppose he did it out of some sense of loyalty for the actors and the desire to bring back familiar elements, but why oh why did Raimi bring back the skinny blonde? All she does is provide Peter with baked goods and stumble around. I won't lie, she's pretty cute, but why is she there?

So you're the mentally askew son of a deranged super-villain. You want to fulfill your dead father's dreams of revenge, and have been given the means to do so. Your weapons and gear are finally ready. All that is left is to select a fearsome visage.

You pick a paintball mask.

Okay, fine. An Electric Sliding paintball mask.

Finally, I've read where the budget for this movie was astronomical. I can only guess how much money they had to pay for what must have been the World's Largest Shoehorn for Stan Lee's cameo.

Mike G.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Recieving The Signal...

So I just got XM Radio today.

I know, XM has a bit of stodginess about it, but 9 months of free service and a 10 buck radio kind of made it an easy decision.

I do like the addition of XM Radio Online, since I'm at my PC a lot more often than in my car. Of course, getting into the world of satellite radio may be an ill-timed move, especially given the fact I correctly predicted the XM/Sirius merger.

Call me flighty.

In other news, way belated congrats to my close personal friend Dev, who has chosen a bride [for the 2nd or 3rd time, depending on who you ask] and will be wed later this month. Unfortunately, I don't believe I will be able to join them, as my personal path has taken me...somewhere else.

I do want to take this opportunity to publicly ask the bride and groom something...

The Vidalia chop Wizard?



Not to poke fun, but I have to know...are you two waiting for your 10th anniversary to bust out the Esteban Guitar or dare I say it-The Bedazzler?

Of course, I kid. Mainly because I love.

Mike G.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Sweet Jebus Above...

Recently, I've been neglecting my blogging duties. Frankly, my current circumstances warrant that only the most extraordinary occurrences would get me to start typing.

Thanks to my pals at Toy News Intl, that occurrence has happened.

Optimash Prime.

May Xenu have mercy upon us all.

Mike G.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007


So that one guy who said he was the father of that lady's baby turned out to be telling the truth, and that other guy who said he was isn't.

Good thing we got that straight.

Mike G.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

More Stuff...

So I picked up Twitter, in the hopes that I'll be able to blog via my phone and update this thing more than once a month.

Let's see what happens.

MIke G.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Ladies and Gentlemen...

I Give You...

Optimus. Prime.

Mike G.

p.s. Megatron? I'm still sorting out my feelings on his look so far.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Not To Worry...

I'm still here.

A bit busy, but still here.

More entertainment soon.

Mike G.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

"24? More Like 1/24."

Please forgive the joke.

Before the next installment of the Gold Medal Flour Jack Bauer Hour of Power Hour, I'd like to note the recent announcement made at this years Toy Fair:

You can click here for more pics, and here for the press release.

A tip of the Churn hat to the folks at Toy News International.

Mike G.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Only Four Months Off...

If only I could guess football games this well...

From January of last year...

From earlier this morning...

Of course, this isn't a done deal, and of course there's that whole monopoly thing to deal with.

It's nice to be right about something. For once.

Mike G.

Sunday, February 11, 2007


Hey there gang.

Not much to post today, but a little something I found online.

Way way back in January of 2002, the WWF/E produced a video that summed up exactly why anyone is a professional wrestling fan. For a company that edits, ignores and even willfully forgets its own history, it was a powerful look back. A lot has changed in the last five years, but it still has much of the same impact as when it first aired.


Mike G.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Getting Sidetracked...


First off, a huge thank you to everyone involved in making my trip to Dallas so memorable. Seeing old friends and getting back into the ol' announcer's booth was a real treat, and hopefully I'll be able to make it back very soon.

As for Devin's last post, I promise to have an adequate response very soon. Until then, since Churn is the place where Internet Memes go to die, I'd like to quote an article written a few years ago by Kieth Martin:

If we accept all the Star Wars films as the same canon, then a lot that happens in the original films has to be reinterpreted in the light of the prequels. As we now know, the rebel Alliance was founded by Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Bail Organa. What can readily be deduced is that their first recruit, who soon became their top field agent, was R2-D2.

What then follows is an inspired piece of writing that makes a little too much sense. You can read the rest of it here, if you haven't already.

Mike G.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Jambox In Disguise

It was really great catching up with Mike G. when he came back to Dallas last weekend. After getting him his celebratory Jamba Juice, we tooled around a rainy city talking about ... well, damn near everything.

Over the course of the weekend, i busted out my iPod and played the Patton Oswalt bits from the "Last Laugh 2006" Comedy Central special, and he showed me some wrestling videos on his Creative Zen player. It was the first time I had screwed around with a Creative player, and I have one big problem with it: the interface. The buttons aren't uniform in how they... work. This button works to get you here, but its counterpart doesn't work to get you in the opposite direction. VERY non-intuitive.

However, I think I have the answer to get Mike to finally give up all of the imitators once and for all:

Meet the Convoy iPod Docking Bay.

It's a transforming iPod Dock that converts from tune-blasting robot into an 18-wheeler. The dock is licensed by Apple, and is available for pre-order now for $144.99 from

Now, I know what Mike's thinking: the REAL reason he doesn't have an iPod is they're so damned expensive. Big deal. When will you ever see a Transformer dock for the Creative players? Or, bog help 'em, the Zune? That's right, you won't.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

The Art Of The Gag Reel

When Katie Sackhoff or Dean Stockwell screws up a line and swears, that's cool. Your brain can process that.

But when Edward James Olmos does it... well, something short circuits for me.

This may or may not get you ready for Sunday's return of 'Galactica,' but it certainly pulls back the curtain.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Monday, January 15, 2007

Throwing Meat To The Wolves...

So, remember Devin's post a short while ago about a particular robot girl exposing her... operating system for all to enjoy?

Well hold on to your...actually, I don't want to finish that sentence.

If you're 18 or older, or know someone who is:

Here Ya Go.

May the Kittens forgive me,

Mike G.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

I Guess So...

I guess it did really happen.

'Not with a bang, but a whimper.'

Oh well.

Mike G.

Saturday, January 06, 2007


My. God.

That didn't just happen, did it?

Mike G.

Friday, January 05, 2007

I'm So Pretentious, I'll Use TWO Initials In My Name

As a rule, geeks are grumpy.

Sure, they follow their particular favorite movie / TV show / comic book with slavish devotion, but their future experiences with said favorite thing are colored by the "newness" of the first time.


* 'Star Wars'
* 'Star Trek'
* 'Alien'

James Cameron avoided the dreaded and feared geek backlash by making a completely different movie in 'Aliens' than Ridley Scott did in 'Alien.' (Of course, I can imagine the reaction in pre-production if the movie were released in the time of the Web: "Cameron's just a low-budget hack. 'The Terminator' was cheesy, and he'd be better off sticking to that low-grade horror genre, rather than screwing up the greatness of Scott's claustrophobic vision!") Every film since then has been either poorly written (Alien3), or poorly directed (Alien: Resurrection), or both (Alien vs Predator). At least you could point to the pedigree of the two direct sequels -- David Fincher, Jean Jeunet, Joss Whedon. With 'AvP,' you has Paul W.S. Anderson. [shudder]

And here's the real kick in the crotch: 'AvP' KILLED at the box office, bringing in $171 million worldwide. So, being the money-grubbing whores Fox is, they're denying us a real return to the 'Alien' realm we've been craving, and instead, giving us more pap with 'AvP2.'

Two things give me hope about this flick:

It's not written by Paul W.S. Anderson.
It's not directed by Paul W.S. Anderson.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Early Returns...

So, let's take a quick review of Devin's contributions so far to the Churn Nation:

1. Geek News? Check.

2. News about young women disrobing? Check.

Combining the two?

Well done my friend.

Well done.

Mike G.

Such As: Kittens Everywhere Cringe In Terror!

Tricia Helfer, By the Lods of KobolWord around the campfire is that Tricia Helfer, known to all the citizens of Geek Nation as Number Six from SciFi's Battlestar Galactica, will have a photo shoot in next month's Playboy.

Anything I could type next would come off as a horrible double entendre, so I'll leave that up to you.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007


First, a quick 'hello' to the Churn! faithful. Mike G. gave me a key to the place, wanted me to water the plants, and make sure no one's broken in and set up a meth lab or anything of the sort.

Next, pretty much every time I talk to Mike, he tells me how excited he is about the Transformers movie. I know this will likely get me tossed out of his blog as fast as I got invited, but I simply missed the boat on the Transformers.

Thundercats? Check.
Star Blazers? Ding.
Thundarr the Barbarian? Bingo.

But Transformers? Nope. Does nothing for me.

I don't know why -- you would think the robots in disguise would have been right in my wheelhouse. But, for whatever reason, Optimus Prime holds no special place in my heart.

Maybe this new Japanese trailer will help:

Okay, that helps... although Shia LeBeouf gently reaching to cop a feel wasn't necessary. Maybe the
Japanese audiences need the love touch.