Wednesday, July 28, 2004


With this announcement, nerds everywhere will be dancing in the streets.

Unless it's dark outside.

Or there's bees.

Mike G.
Small Town News...

Every now and then you come across a story that's the perfect combination of sad and funny. The fact that it happened in my old hometown is just fitting.

Bad boys, bad boys...

I guess on the bright side, Odessa won't be known for just the Permian Panthers.

Take Care,

Mike G.

Saturday, July 24, 2004


Direct from Comic-Con comes the news that nerds, geeks and assorted dorks [myself included] have been waitng for. While Lucas might be slightly coo-coo for Cocoa-Puffs, I have to say I at least like the title. It's a callback to the original title for Return of the Jedi, and hopefully it's a sign that things will take a darker turn for this final film. Newsarama and CBR have all the latest updates.

Take Care,

Mike G.

 Posted by Hello

Thursday, July 22, 2004

Answering The Call...

As a preface to this entry, let me say that while I had heard of things like this happening, I always dismissed it as either an urban legend, or simply an exaggeration.

Earlier today, I'm enjoying an excellent lunch at Chipotle{chicken and steak tacos, side of rice}. As I get ready to leave, the three refills of water I had decided to...rejoin the water cycle, so to speak.

Sidenote: I don't order beverages when I go out. The markup between the cost of the drink and the price charged can be as high as 600%. I don't mind paying for my food, but unless I can fill up a cooler and take it home, I'll keep my buck-fifty.

So I'm washing my hands in the sink after completing my business, and I hear someone speaking. Seeing noone else, I glance underneath the stalls, and see a pair of shoes surrounded by blue jeans. The voice continues, and it becomes apparent that this gentleman is having a conversation. On. The. Toilet.

So many questions...

Unless the conversation features phrases like 'car wreck', 'positive tests', 'the bomb is under the toilet', there are more appropriate places to make and recieve phone calls.

I doubt whoever was on the other side of that call was aware of the situation. As an experiment, the next time you answer the phone, imagine the caller sitting there without a care in the world.


I quickly dried my hands and got out. I did not want to see whoever would do something like that. And on the practical side, I can barely use my cell phone in my apartment. I'm surprised you can even get a signal out of what's essentially a big metal box.

Well, that's my little slice of life.

Take Care,

Mike G.

So there I was, alone in the forest. Cold, hungry, and on top of that, I had to give a Powerpoint presentation on improving customer relations. Thanks to this little miracle, I was able to hunt down a squirrel for sustenance, start a small fire, and still impress my boss with my use of pie charts and bar graphs. If you actually want one of these, ThinkGeek's got them for about 70 bucks. Posted by Hello

Take Care,

Mike G.

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

I Give, and I Give and I Give...

In my unending quest to provide my readers with things they didn't even know they wanted, I have added a search function to this blog. Now, I'm not sure if it even works, but that's beside the point.

I've also uploaded this blog into the Feedster database. I think. Either that, or I just signed up for some record club.

Anyway, enjoy the extras, and don't forget to link to this site early and often.

Take Care,

Mike G.

The great Scott Kurtz does it again. Click here to see more of his fine wares.  Posted by Hello

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

I'm going to sound like a jerk for saying this, but then again, that's why I have a blog.
I personally don't care whether or not you smoke. There's probably a cheaper way for you to trash your life expectancy, but that's neither here nor there. What gets me is the fact that people who don't smoke have to deal with the byproducts. All I'm saying is that if someone decided to shoot heroin across from me in a bar, I'm fairly certain it wouldn't hurt me too much.
All of that was a prelude to what I did this evening.
I contributed to a piece of Ticket History as one of the jurors for the New Trial of the Century This Week: Sweaty Jen Ohlsen Guy vs. The Ticket.
Some background: About a year ago, SJOG {don't ask, long story} pranked Norm Hitzges, venerable mid-morning host by pretending to be a baseball player stricken with brain cancer. The interview went fairly well for about ten minutes, and as Norm was saying goodbye, SJOG apparently lost his nerve and announced that he was gay as he hung up the phone. He was then banned from calling into the station and was considered persona non grata. Such a firestorm was raised that management finally relented and decided to put the matter to rest by holding a trial.
Judge Manny Alvarez, the same judge who presided over Michael Irvin's legal woes presided over the case, and two local attorneys represented both parties. This took place in The Barley House, a well known bar. Thanks to Judge Alvarez, the proceedings actually bore some resemblence to an actual case. Witnesses were called, objections were raised, and the closing arguments were full of exhortations for justice and doing the right thing.
In the end, the jury found the SJOG had paid his debt in full, and reinstated all his P1 privileges. Personally, I wouldn't be shocked if sometime in the coming months, he tries to prank someone else at the station.
Before I sign off, shout outs to Rowdy Hatin' Walt, Woody, Grubes, Mardi Gras Paul, Figs, Pizza Delivery Man, and the others.
Take Care,
Mike G.    


Friday, July 16, 2004

Even Guy Gardner Would Be Better...

In keeping with the recent post on Superhero Movies,
Ain't It Cool News has confirmed that Jack Black will be playing Green Lantern in what's being billed as a 'zany comedy'.

Time for another Logic Problem...

Jack Black? Very Cool. An actor who gives his all to a role. Also a legitimate rock and roll star.

Green Lantern? Created by Martin Nodell around 1940, the legacy of the Green Lantern has lasted over 60 years. Their common bond: a green power ring able to translate the bearer's thoughts into whatever they desire. They also share an oath:
 "In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape my sight. Let those who worship evil's might, beware my power... Green Lantern's light!"
Jack Black as Green Lantern?   Well, Stand Back, Burrito.
Do I think that he can't pull it off? Of course not. After all, it's not my money they're making the movie with. But as a comic book fan, I'm concerned. You see, since Warner Bros. owns DC Comics, they can make any decision they want to their comic properties. Anyone remember nipples on the Bat-Costume? How about the Governator playing Mr. Freeze?
And now, with synergy being the new catchphrase, I wouldn't be surprised if there was a mandate from on high to make the comic version more like the movie version.
Comments, gifts, and job offers are always welcome.
Take Care,
Mike G.   

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Well, Whaddaya Know...

Just looking over the stats for this experiment we like to call Churn, and I'm starting to see some patterns.

1. People are still coming here looking for some Gmail love. After the market value dropped due to an invite increase, my plans for wealth beyond my wildest dreams had to be scaled back somewhat. Instead, I had to become altruistic about the whole thing. Bottom line, my little Gmail tree is now bare. Thanks to those who wrote in, and I hope you continue to visit this litle blog.

2. As a bit of a counterpoint to the above, a large percentage of visitors get here via {Self Referring/Bookmarker}. I think that means that you've arrived here directly or via a bookmark. If so, then many thanks to you folks for visiting, and actually coming back. If there's any criticism you have for the blog, please comment and tell me so. Yeah, most of the writing is just so I can vent, but if I didn't want anyone else to see it, I'd have a diary.

Again, thanks for reading.

Mike G.

Monday, July 12, 2004

By Odin's Beard!!

A big Churn shout out to Chris Benoit, for beating the odds and retaining his WWE World Heavyweight Championship at Vengeance tonight.

As always, I along with my good pal Brother Mike (his blog) will recap and review the PPV on theP1WAC Tuesday night.

To learn more about the Canadian Crippler, the WWE set up a special subsite here.

Finally, a DVD set hit the street this past week, and it gets the full 7-star double gold check plus recommendation from the Churn Family. It's Volume 1 of Batman: The Animated Series. It's unique style and design made the show stand out, and the writing and characterization made the series the only place to see the 'real' Batman, during an era of bad comics and worse movies. Check it out.

Take Care,

Mike G.

Thursday, July 08, 2004


Thanks to SuperHeroHype for the info. It is their noses that are pressed firmly agaisnt the grindstone of the rumor mill.

Mike G.

Say Hi to Michael Chiklis. Right now, he's most famous for his work on FX's The Shield. But soon, that may not be the case....check the pic below. Posted by Hello

This is the ever-lovin' blue-eyed idol of millions, The Thing. Also known as Benjamin J Grimm, he, along with the rest of the Fantastic Four will make their cinematic debut sometime next year. Posted by Hello

Sunday, July 04, 2004


Roman Candles are not weapons.

Hope all of you had a pleasant 4th of July.

Also, a special Churn shout-out to my pal Devin, who celebrated his birthday recently.

Churn Plug...

I recently got back into a PC game that was sitting on the shelf, and was reminded of how kick-ass it was. It's Mafia, and the best and worst way to describe it is a 1930's style Grand Theft Auto. Yes, it shares the same basic plotline [mission-based driving plus 3rd-person shooting] but with an atmosphere and attention to detail that is amazing. The city, cars, music and even the voice acting all lend an air of authenticity. The best part is that you can pick up this game for less than 10 bucks.

Well, I'm done for now. Just remember that there will be at least one firecracker that seems to be a dud, but will magically go off 3 seconds after someone says, "I'll check it"

Take Care,

Mike G.

Friday, July 02, 2004

Say hello to two of Sportsradio 1310's Ticketchicks. I met these lovely ladies at Big Dick Hunter's appearance at the DART rail station. They were as outgoing and personable as they were attractive. Thanks again for letting me snap a pic.  Posted by Hello

Thursday, July 01, 2004

Of Superheroes and Men...

In the past few days, I've seen two films that have affected me powerfully, but for two extremely different reasons. I urge all Churners to see both of these movies. Here's a few reasons why:

Spider-Man 2

This is mostly a no-brainer, and given the latest news, most of you have already seen it. It does the rare job of surpassing the original movie in almost every way. It also rewards comic geeks like me by dropping in tidbits like famed artist Alex Ross painting scenes from the first film during the opening credits. Cameos from Curt Connors and mentions of folks like Dr. Strange. There's also an appearance by Stan Lee, and an almost exact recreation of one of the most famous Spider-Man covers ever.

Fahrenheit 9/11

I know that on sheer principle alone, some of you won't see this movie. That's too bad, because Michael Moore has created something that you have to see to believe. Yes, the film does have an agenda. It wouldn't be a Moore film without one. What really impresses me is that despite all the attention given to this film, the facts check out. There have been some grumbles that Moore tries to connect too many dots, but the footage of Bush in that Florida classroom and the story of Lila Lipscomb, a military mom coping with the loss of her son, speak for themselves.

This movie makes you laugh, cringe, seethe and worry. Which is what movies are supposed to do.


As I was writing this post, the death of actor Marlon Brando was confirmed. As when any actor dies, there's a rush to get other actors to comment on it. The station I was listening to decided to get Andy Richter's thoughts on Brando's passing.

Now I love Andy. I've missed him ever since he left Late Night, and I hate that he hasn't had a real hit on TV since.

But was every other celebrity busy at the time? What about the little pygmy/midget that starred with him on The Island of Dr. Moreau? I'm sure he would appreciate a phone call.

Oh Well.

Take Care,

Mike G.