Sigh...

So it looks like the Wild Ass Circus, my favorite radio show, has been canceled. That sucks in just about every way.

The WAC accepted me and my quirks with open arms, and thanks to Richard and the crew, I've got memories that will last me a lifetime. I've interviewed people from all walks of life and been places I've only read about, all the while doing my best impression of a radio semi-professional. Of course, I won't be able to forget some of those moments, since I've foolishly posted the pictures.

It was a good three years, and I hope that a smart station realizes that a golden opportunity has just appeared.

Courage,
Mike G.

What Color Are Their Hands Now?

Yes, that line was stolen from The Great Muppet Caper, but there's a good reason.

The Post Office has released a series of Muppet stamps. I wish Rizzo the rat was included, but it's a fantastic set nevertheless.

If the set takes off, what about these choices for series 2?

Digit [from the Jim Henson Hour]

Johnny Fiama and Sal [Muppets Tonight]

Bobo The Bear [Muppets Tonight]

Crazy Harry [Muppet Show]

Lew Zealand [Muppet Show]

Waldo C. Graphic [Jim Henson Hour & Muppetvision 3-D]

Courage,
Mike G.

Dallas Stars.jpg

Dallas Stars.jpg
Originally uploaded by thesporq.

Addendum...

I saw a review on another site RE: Serenity and I thought I should say something.

I said that people who were big fans of Firefly would love this film.

But...

Things happen in this movie. Things that, for a long while now, don't usually happen in these types of movies. Joss took some risks with this picture, when he could essentially shoot a double-length Firefly episode and just watch the adulation roll in.

It's a ballsy move, to be sure. Fandom is incredibly fickle. Today's Independent Voice can be tomorrow's Sell-Out.

It'll be interesting to watch.

Courage,
Mike G.

Aimin' To Misbehave...

Folks,

This post was made possible by the good folks at Talking Points Memo. While most of their work involves politics and current affairs, today they played the Hollywood card.

They offered readers of their site and fellow bloggers to an advance screening of Serenity. I sent in my name, and lo and behold I got a press pass. So amidst a sea of fellow nerds and confessed follower Scott Kurtz, we settled in for the show.

I freely admit that I've only watched a few minutes of Firefly. That said, I really liked this movie. Joss Whedon has a particular talent for adding in a gag to punctuate moments of tension. I also like the idea that the future isn't all chrome and streamlined. There's still guns and bullets, and a very brute force sense of design.

There are some things that gave me a bit of pause, but they weren't big concerns. I guess the future is dominated by the Chinese, since there's enough kanji symbols to fill up a dozen strip clubs. Also, I guess the civil war hinted at in the movie is a big deal, but it gets a very quick once-over.

Oh, Jewel Staite is pretty cute.

Bottom line: If you're a fan of the show, you've probably already seen it, or stolen a work print online. Everyone else? It's a pleasant surprise that's worth the ticket price.

Finding it it very difficult to stop the signal,
Mike G.

Cushioning The Blow...

So to speak.

To counteract the shameless begging of the post below, Here's a pic of another Page 3 Girl, the lovely Miss Lucy Pinder:



Also, Fun in the Locker Room. Many Churn thanks to the upstanding folks at Double Viking.

For some reason, I feel like I should be apologizing to someone.

Courage,
Mike G.

Longshot...

I know a long time ago I asked for help to get free stuff.

I'd pretty much given up on the whole thing, but I figured one last try couldn't hurt.

At this point, I just need one person to click on this link and try an offer.

To help whichever kind soul decides to participate, this site rates the trial offers.

I fully understand if noone wants to participate. I'll still keep CHURNing out the same quality[?] material on a less-than-weekly basis.

Courage,
Mike G.

Many Thanks...

To Brother Mike, who helped me out of a jam last night.

Not everyone would take time out of their lives to help someone else, and I'm very grateful.

Sooo....

I gues this means I'll have to eat the deposit and cancel his 'dentist appointment' I had arranged for next month.

Courage,
Mike G.

Geek Levels... Rising!

They finally did it.

Part of me can't believe it, and the other part is wondering why it didn't happen sooner.

Simply put, Star Wars meets Transformers.

Here's a quick taste:


I guess I better check to see if they're still buying plasma...

Courage,
Mike G.

A Chairshot Earns You 3 Points...

I'm speaking to a small segment of the Churn audience right now, but I'll get back to my regular hi-jinks soon.

This is an open invitation to all readers to join the P1 Wild Ass Circus in season 5 of WWE Fantasy. For those unaware, WWE Fantasy combines the number-crunching strategy of fantasy football with the crazy world of professional wrestling.

The game is fairly simple, and works like your standard salary cap game. Each week, you're given 30 million dollars with which to assemble a roster of WWE superstars from both RAW and Smackdown. They earn points based on their on-screen antics. For example, a TV appearance earns you 3 points, while participating in a match gets you 5. If your Superstar wins that match, they earn another 7 points.

The trick to successfully playing this game is to not only keep your roster balanced with wrestlers from both shows, but to also keep your eyes on the schedule. If there's a PPV during the week, it's a smart idea to load your roster with wrestlers due to appear on that show, since the point values are higher.

So, what's in it for me, you may be asking?

Well, not only will the overall point leader of Season 5 win a 2006 Royal Rumble trip, but weekly leaders will earn prizes too. As far as the P1WAC goes, the league leader will not only get bragging rights, but they will win this:

A genuine Kid's WWE Heavyweight Championship Belt, complete with velcro closures. We'll even make a custom label so you can personalize it.

I'm sure dozens of you are raring to sign up after a pitch like that. All you have to do is click here to sign up. Once you do, log in to your account and click on your team name. Then, click on the Create/Join League button. Type in WildAssCircus [make sure you type it like that] in the 'Find a League' box and hit enter, and then click Join.

When you join, please leave me a comment and tell me the name of your team. I run Churn Life, my fellow wrestling correspondent Brother Mike named his team after himself, and Season 5's winner Richard Hunter helms the Lance Stormtroopers.

Once the season is under way, I'll provide status reports from time to time.

I hope you'll consider my invitation.

Courage,
Mike G.

Combo Platter...

First, Boing Boing has a post about one guy's Katrina story. I know it doesn't compare to people who have lost much more, but as a fellow collector, I can understand his situation.

Here at home, Rita has made people nervous about gas, causing longer lines at the pump. I've only lived here for a few years, but I'm fairly certain the Dallas levies aren't going to collapse.

Phone companies usually charge you when you call them for directory assistance. This company is offering it for free. Of course, it might not last long, but it's worth a shot.

Hey Linds. Hope the stress levels are lowering.

Someone please buy me this.

Some pics of SOTA Toys' Johnny Cash figure. No word on whether or not he transforms into a F-15.

Congrats to Devin, who somehow convinced a lovely young lady to marry him. Not to be cynical, but I suspect she's got her eye's on Dev's extensive land holdings in Asia Minor.

Stay tuned for some big Churn news in the coming days.

Courage,
Mike G.

After Careful Consideration...

I have concluded that Frozen Custard is good. If you can avail yourself of some, I highly recommend it. For those unfamiliar with the concept, it's very dense, smooth, and by law must contain more than 10% milkfat. It's also made with egg yolks, giving it a very creamy texture. I guess you could say it's a more glamourous version of the familiar soft-serve.

Here in Dallas, I found there's quite a few places to indulge. Local places include Wild About Harry's, Sheridan's, and Culvers.

Courage,
Mike G.

No Time To Repent...

Since it's time for your WWE Unforgiven preview...

This is a RAW brand PPV, and I hate to say it, but it looks like it might be pretty good.

Here we go in no particular order:

Shelton Benjamin vs. Kerwin White

This is a study of characters at a crossroads. Shelton Benjamin was once a mighty Intercontinental Champion with aspirations to become Heavyweight Champion. Since those heady days, he's been relegated to the midcard. Chavo Guerrero used to ride a stick horse to the ring, and now the former protege' to Eddie Guerrero has decided to trade in his name and ethnicity for a shiny white version in Kerwin White.

This match is more about the loser, rather than the winner. Both of these wrestlers need a high profile win, and whoever comes up short will be in a bad place. I think WWE should stick by Shelton and reintroduce Chavo/Kerwin to his heritage.

Trish Stratus & Ashley vs. Torrie Wilson & Victoria

This match pretty much encapsulates the state of female wrestling in the WWE. Trish [the returning champion, by the way] and Victoria are legitimate wrestlers who can also fill the 'eye candy' role of the standard valet/manager. Torrie and Ashley are very pretty models with scant wrestling ability. Also, both of them have been photographed by Playboy [do a Google Search to find a pre-Diva Search Ashley]

So who wins? I'd have to say whoever Tivos this match and plays it back in slo-mo.

Big Show vs. Snitsky

Two words come to mind when discussing this match: Holding pattern. Snitsky has taken his baby-killing 'accident' about as far as anyone could have forseen, and after his stint as Edge's muscle, he needs something new. As for Big Show, all signs had him pegged as the one to win the MasterLock Challenge, but thatwent away fairly quickly. This will be a standard Big Man Match, and I see Show coming out on top.

The Hurricane & Rosey vs. Cade & Murdoch for the World Tag Team Championship

Sadly, one of my favorite wrestlers has become linked with a tragedy. This in and of itself has little to do with the match, but it doesn't help. Cade and Murdoch have been getting a fair amount of exposure, and I think a title change is in the cards. But given how shabby the Tag Team situation is on RAW, it might not make a difference.

Edge vs. Matt Hardy in a Steel Cage

Back in my Summerslam preview, I said the match then was a month late. at this point, I can't tell if WWE is punishing Edge or Matt with this clunker of a storyline. Whatever excitement Matt brought with his return is long gone. And not to bring up old stuff, but Edge still has the Money In The Bank contract. Matt loses again, but gets the Moral Victory. Lita tries to express an emotion, but the strain causes her to pass out.

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Masters

This match is pretty straightforward; Cocky upstart calls out the cagey veteran. For some reason, WWE is very high on Mr. Masters. Unfortunately for him, Shawn Michaels is due some payback.

After having to job to Hogan at Summerslam, I can't see him doing it again for a rookie like Masters. I see HBK powering his way out of the MasterLock and shutting him down with Sweet Chin Music.

Ric Flair vs. Carlito for the Intercontinental Championship

I'm actually looking forward to this one, even if it is like watching your grandpa wrestle. Carlito has become a very entertaining heel, earning extra points for having the IC title without ever defending it. Expect a lot of "WOOO!" and cheating, but Carlito retains the belt.

And finally:

John Cena vs. Kurt Angle for the WWE Championship

The WWE has tried to make this a story of a rebel fighting against a stacked deck, but what I'm noticing is the power of Evil Kurt. In his mind, he is the best wrestler on Earth and the title is his by divine right. Along with this attitude is a more intense style that I've noticed for a while now. But, with RAW's move back to USA later this month, along with the advertising featuring Cena, I don't see Kurt winning this one.

Later next week, we'll be discussing the results on the P1WAC.

Courage,
Mike G.

Quick Apology...

For those with whom I've lost IM contact with the past few days.

Yahoo Messenger[my IM program of choice] has been acting up and refuses to cooperate.

Rest assured, I'm not trying to ignore anyone.

Courage,
Mike G.

See What Happens...

when you leave your giraffe out in the sun? According to National Geographic, you get an 80's flashback; faded giraffe.

Courage,
Mike G.

We're All Screaming...

This might be too late for today depending on where you live, but I just found out that Baskin-Robbins is offering dollar scoops on Tuesday nights.

It's like Dollar beer night for the Non-Drinking set.

However, I would like to see someone stumble into the place with a paycheck, demanding the scooper not to stop till he hits the bottom of the Very Berry Strawberry.

Courage,
Mike G.

Stop Thinking...

So I'm getting some lunch the other day, and as I'm waiting for my order I find myself listening to the Muzak.

It's rare that I pay attention to stuff like that since years of dining alone have taught me to have a book or magazine with me when I go out, or my Rio Karma.

Anyways, the Ringo Starr cover of Johnny Burnette's "You're Sixteen" came on. you can click here for the lyrics in case you're not familiar with the song.

Maybe it's a sign of the times, but isn't that song just a bit creepy? And in about 18 or so states, it's also almost celebrating comitting a felony.

Courage,
Mike G.

Wake Up The Echoes...?

I usually don't get too sportsy here[I like to leave that stuff in more capable hands like The Sturminator's or T-Walk's.] I'm still not too sure why people come to this site, but I think I can rule out my vast sports knowledge as a reason.

That said, it was with a bit of glee that I saw the Notre Dame Fighting Irish defeat Michigan 17-10. For more details, I bring you a variety of choices:

CBS Sportsline

The NY Times

Canada's TSN

NBC's Notre Dame Central

I'm trying not to be too pleased, because I still remember what happened a few years ago with Tyrone Willingham.

Well, that should do it for the sports stuff. If I can get motivated for it, I'll write up something about my WWE Fantasy season, and how I got blindsided in the final weeks.

Courage,
Mike G.

"Stranded?" or "I Found A New Toy"

Stranded?
Originally uploaded by thesporq.

Thanks to the unholy necromancers at Flickr, I now can post pictures from my phone. Actually, I probably could have done it ages ago. Also, I doubt there are any Necromancers at Flickr.

The bottom line is that now I can bring Churn Nation audio and visual content without being near a computer. Yup, I've finally stepped into the 20th century here.

Oh, about the picture. During the trip back to Dallas from Richard's brothel wedding, we got held up a for a few hours due to snow and ice on the road. For more random images, please check my Flickr page. I hope to get more pictures uploaded in the future, so please be patient.

Courage,
Mike G.

Branching Out....

In a very poor attempt to reach out to as wide an audience as I can, Churn is attempting to spread to other communities. For example...

Myspace Space

Yahoo 360

AOL Journals

MSN Spaces


But fear not Churn Nation, I'll always come back to you. [shades of an abusive relationship, I know]

Courage,
Mike G.

I'm Washing My Hair That Day...

So rumor has it that Michael Jackson has penned a new song to raise money for Katrina Relief, and he's currently making the rounds to recruit artists. Apparently he's trying to re-create "We Are The World" for a new generation.

So the big question is: if you're a singer or celebrity, what do you do when you get that phone call?

On the one hand, it's a wholly deserving cause. When each of us wonders what we can do to help, entertainers have an enviable position. Friday, the major networks and many cable channels will be airing a special to raise funds, much like the one aired in the days after the September 11 attacks.

But on the other hand, you've got a bleached man-child with a face composed of 56% wood putty. By the way, he dangles his baby over window ledges. And before I forget, he might have a thing for little boys.

So would you just let the machine get it?

Just curious.

Courage,
Mike G.

Post-Mortem Continued...

I would have written this earlier, but I started playing Chuzzle, and got distracted. It's no Bookworm, but it's pretty fun.

So when I last left you, preparations were well under way. The rink was being lined with light cords to mark the boundaries, chairs had been set up, and the girls were preparing for battle.

As the crowd started to file in, it started to dawn on me that people were actually going to see[and hear] me speak. I've been on the radio before, but it's easier when you don't have to see the people you're talking to.

As the band After Earth finished up the set, the lights were lowered and Meatpie [the aforementioned pirate]and I headed to the middle of the rink to do the introductions.

Meatpie did the honors for the High Seas Hotties and was very well received. As their theme music died down, I turned on my microphone and...

presenting the suicide shifters!

Then the sound of crickets filled the air.

As I was contemplating hanging myself from the giant spinning disco ball, Meatpie handed me the other mic. I took a deep breath, and to my great shock, it worked. I made my way through the Shifters' roster and even got a bit of applause.

And then the bout began. Meatpie and I began to fall into a sort of rhythm; he would give more of a play-by-play account explaining the rules and penalties to the crowd, and I would offer scoring updates and chime in on specific plays.

After Halftime, I began to feel a bit more confident, and would offer up more commentary. I even upheld the long-standing tradition of secretly inserting TicketShtick into everyday life by invoking some Robot Greggo.

As the bout drew to a close I felt that all in all, I had done my best. That's not to say I won't try harder next time though.

I just can't thank the Derby Devils enough for letting me be a small part of their crew. Of course, my ultimate plan involves the girls acting as a sexy squad of lethal commandos loyal only to me.

Just a thought.

Courage,
Mike G.

Post-Mortem...

This'll just cover some of the highlights...

I first want to give all of the Derby Devils huge thank yous for letting me into their dysfunctional happy family.

It's crazy when you think that just about two months ago to the day, I was in a boxing ring ready to take on one of the girls[Razen Kane] in a grudge match.

Flash forward to me preparing to do color commentary for tonight's bout, which featured the Suicide Shifters squaring off against the High Seas Hotties.

Special thanks to Deadly Belladonna of the Shifters, for acquiring my outfit/costume. We were going for 'tacky news anchor' and Belladonna performed a bad taste miracle, outfitting me in a fire-engine red coat with a pale yellow shirt. Topping off the ensemble was a black and tan tie criss-crossed with rows of dots. but this looked tame compared to my broadcast partner, who dressed as a pirate.

More tomorrow...

Courage,
Mike G.

[Almost] Live From The Scene...

Spot The Hidden Reference...

Regular readers of this blog will know that I've aligned myself with the alluring ladies of the Dallas Derby Devils. On Sunday, the Devils will unveil the three teams for the 2005 season in an exhibition bout. [all details on their site]

This week, The Sports Page, a Dallas weekly paper, features a piece on the Devils written by my close friend/media doorway, Richard Hunter.

And now a title explanation.

I'm not named directly in the article, but Richard used his trusty shoehorn to make sure I would be mentioned. If you want, you can download the PDF and play along.

Courage,
Mike G.

Even Master Chief Wants To Help...

The magic pixies behind Halo and Halo 2 are selling a Fight the Flood T-Shirt to raise money for the American Red Cross. I'll be looking for unique ways to help out, and I'll post what I find.

Courage,
Mike G.

When Is The Time?

I like to consider myself somewhat informed, and I'm not afraid of saying, "I don't know".

That said, I've tried to stay away from TV news for the past few days, and I'm trying to not read every article about Katrina's aftermath online. Story ofter story of absolute suffering, and it will get worse.

This leads to another question.

In a situation like this, the primary concern should be to save as many lives as possible, and then see to shelter, food, clothing and other needs.

But somewhere in that list of priorities should be a concerted effort to discover WHY this happened the way it did. We're starting to see reports of levees being breached rather than overtopped, and conflicting stories of slashed or diverted funds for their repair. There's National Guardsmen and equipment that's overseas, even though we're being told we have enough.

The question is, when is the right time to ask these sorts of questions? The popular liberal/progressive blog Daily Kos weighs in, and in response James Wolcott fires back:

I don't mean to pick on Armando, but has he learned nothing under Bush? There is
no "next week" when it comes to getting answers and fixing accountability for
failure under this president. Next week never comes.

Look at 9/11. There were tough questions about the breakdown of communications at Ground Zero, the lateness in scrambling fighter jets once the hijacked planes were heading toward NY and DC, Bush's strange behavior on that day, etc., and in the aftermath those questions were considered inappropriate, "divisive." We needed to grieve first, heal; and then the tough questions could be raised.

But they weren't. As months passed, the focus was on overthrowing the Taliban and avenging 9/11, and tough questions were taken off the table as the drumbeat was about the Nation Moving Forward. The media fell into zombie lockstep behind the invigorated Bush agenda. It took the 9/11 widows and esp the "Jersey Girls" to push and shame the Congress, the media, and the administration into launching a proper
investigation, otherwise it would have all slid into the memory hole apart from
the iconic images of the smoking towers before their collapse.

I don't know who's right here. This administration has done such a masterful job of turning all criticism back onto the critic, even the most rational and reasoned argument can be deflected. On the other hand, unless these questions are asked soon, history shows us they can fade away.

Politics aside, there are people in dire need of help out there. Please keep a good thought or prayer for them, and maybe kick in a few bucks to the agencies I've linked to below. Fans of PayPal can make a donation to the United Way by visiting this page.

Courage,
Mike G

More testing....

I've got some audio that can be accessed here. Can it be picked up by people who have podcast technology?

Please let me know.

Courage,
Mike G.