Boy.

People sure do love Erica Durance.

Check that. People love Erica Durance emerging from a lake in little to no clothing.

I'm not sure what I can do to top that, as it seems that she makes up the bulk of visitors to Churn.

So, let's try embarrassing personal revelations.

Anyone around here ever heard of Fanfic? You know, when people sit down and write their own episodes of their favorite TV shows. Like that time when Doctor Who landed the TARDIS on Giligan's Island and helped the Castaways get back home. Or that episode of Drew Carey when he realizes he's always loved Oswald. Yeah, that kind of stuff. 99.99999% of the time, it's either creepy or stupid or a combination of the two.

With this sort of setup, you can't possibly miss where I'm going.

Guilty as charged.

Now, let me feebly defend myself. I only wrote one fanfic script, around March of 1998. I guess we should cue the Flashback Harps...


The following was written in June of 1998 for Could-Be-TV-News, the Newsletter of Chandler and Monica, a script-based sitcom, spun off from the fictional Friends series finale, which occurred sometime in the real series' 3rd season:

It was the beginning of my Junior year. while already trapped in the
> strands of the web, I was becoming slowly introduced to the world of
> Friends online. I was skimming through the script lists, when I
> stumbled onto the Shrine [former home of The Last One] I approached it
> with more than a little bit of apprehension. Unfortunately, the world
> of fanfic is a minefield that can leave scars much deeper than one
> would expect. [I know some of you out there are fanfic writers, so
> that last comment was not directed at you personally] Imagine my shock
> when I read the scripts...and enjoyed them! Like most of you I was all
> ready to dismiss the last one as a fluke, or random event, and was
> waiting to savagely rip the first episode of C&M. When that didn't
> happen, I immediately sent Dan notes of praise and congratulations. We
> continued to correspond, on occasion suggesting lines and such, until
> he suggested I try my hand at a script. Knowing the most I had ever
> written outside of class could fit on an envelope, I was taken aback.
> What started as a lowly .Txt file, after months of both furious
> writing and mindnumbing periods of nothing, "Beans and Fakes" spilled
> out. As a side note, that particular little script has logged over a
> thousand hits since being posted. Not a great achievement, but I am
> proud nonetheless.

Yup, not only did I write fanfic, I was also in charge of a newsletter devoted to this fake show. For about two years, I sent out messages to an audience that at one time was over 500 people. Then, when the show 'ended', I still wanted to write, so I sent out small stories of my life and other observations. When I discovered blogging, I abandoned the list for good and set up shop here. Thanks to the efforts of Archive.org, you can actually judge for yourself if the time I spent writing and revising should have been spent actually talking to real people.


This is my first, and only contribution to scriptwriting.

This is a quick and dirty explanation of what C&M was...

This is archive.org's master page for the site. Click the links for 1999 and 2000.

And finally, click here for a look at what I used to do before landing here.

So, I've exposed some of my 'wild and crazy' past. While my more material side would ask for gifts and cash in exchange, I'm smart enough to know none of you would fall for it. Instead, I offer you a great opportunity. I am inviting you to sample, at little to no risk to you, products and services from such companies......

I can't do it.

You've waded this far, I'll cut it short. If you liked this story, or just didn't hate it, do me a favor and click here. Choose one of the trials and cancel after a few weeks. But hey, if you don't feel like it, that's fine too.

Take care,

Mike G.